


Washington

by Showmethedestiel



Series: America [1]
Category: Misha Collins - Fandom, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, Cockles, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Jealous Jensen, Misha's kids, Morning Misha, Multi, Open Marriage, Oral Sex, Other, Reader-Insert, Smut, Threesome, West and Maison, misha x reader - Freeform, misha x you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-01-26
Packaged: 2018-09-15 09:25:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 25
Words: 30,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9228722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Showmethedestiel/pseuds/Showmethedestiel
Summary: You're vacationing in Washington and bump into the one and only Misha Collins who quickly becomes your lover.This is turning into a pretty long and convoluted story about Reader and Misha's relationship and history, so I've decided to put an asterisk (*) beside any and all chapters that can be read as oneshots :)





	1. Washington Vacation *

**Author's Note:**

> So I've never done a reader insert fic before so let's hope this isn't a train wreck.  
> Also obviously no hate to Vicki, we all love her, and in this fic Misha and Vicki are in a polyamorous relationship. (I might do a one-shot story seperately with Misha/Vicki/Jensen(?)/Reader depending on feedback!  
> PS Requests are (I guess?) open, meaning that if you comment something you want to read I'll probably get round to writing it!

New Year, new me. That's what you kept telling yourself at five in the morning, on vacation, wearing running shorts and a tank top. You grabbed your water bottle and sighed as you left your hotel room and shut the door.  
The morning air was cold and crisp, making you shiver but giving your sleep deprived system a much needed jolt awake. You weren't a runner. You were more of the "I'll start next week." - every week, type. So you soon ran out of breath and took a seat on a bench with a glorious view of the sun rising over the river in front of it. After a few minutes, you felt someone sit next to you, panting slightly - probably another morning runner.  
"Beautiful, isn't it?" You asked, turning to face your companion,  
"Yeah, it's one of my favourite places to jog, actually." Replied the man. As he said the words, you recognised the voice, and looked up to match the body to your guess. He looked at you in the middle of your realisation and saw a wave of recognition wash over your face. You watched a flicker of a smirk as he realised you recognised him.  
"You're Misha Collins." You stated, matter of factly,  
"I am," He chuckled, "And you are (Y/N)(Y/L/N)."  
You looked at him quizzically, before he pointed at the hand-written name-tag sticker on your shirt.  
"Hey, that's cheating" You laugh, grinning. "My idiot friend stuck that on me before I got my plane here and I guess I forgot to take it off." You shrug and smile fondly at the memory.  
"That's what I call a responsible friend," Misha laughs with you,  
"She is, she's definitely the 'mom' of the group." You say,  
"Oh yeah? What are you then?" he asks, teasing.  
"Me? I'm the one who stares at sunrises and chats with strange men on benches." You reply, smiling at Misha.  
"Well, I'm hardly a stranger, you recognised me as soon as you saw me didn't you?"  
"Hm," You nod in agreement. After a few minutes of comfortable silence he suddenly jumps up, jogging bouncily on the spot,  
"Gotta keep running, wanna join me?" He asks with an enticing grin.  
"Thanks but I'd definitely just slow you down." You shake your head, smiling.  
"Nahh," he says, still grinning as he grabs your hand and pulls you up. "You've got a runners' figure, you'll be fine." Misha starts dragging you away from the bench, gently but with purpose. You laugh and agree to run with him on the condition he doesn't laugh at you.  
"Deal."

"You really weren't kidding, were you?" Misha asks, few hundred meters down the path, his smirk fiercely threatening to turn into full body laughter as he watches you lean against a tree, panting heavily t o catch your breath.  
"Don't you dare, you promised Collins!" You exclaim, pointing an accusing finger at him.  
"I wouldn't dare!" He put his hands up, feigning innocence. After a moment of contemplation he says, "We could go get a coffee instead, if you want."  
"That sounds... More like my thing." You say with a grin and straighten up to follow Misha. "Do you know any good places?" You ask, "You might have guessed I'm not from around here."  
"Yeah, I know a place that does really good blueberry muffins, and if you get there early enough there's a fantastic view of the sunrise." He replies enthusiastically.  
"Mm, we'll have to go see that sometime." You say, thoughtfully,  
"Sounds good."

The cafe's small and cosy, but as Misha said, it has a wonderful view. You're staring out the window, absorbed in the scenery when you're startled out of your trance by Misha handing you a coffee and a blueberry muffin - which you hadn't asked for.  
"Thanks," You say, reaching for your bag, and it dawns on you that it is, of course, still in your hotel room. "Shit." You mutter, looking around.  
"What's wrong?" Misha asks, concerned,  
"I left my bag with my purse in it in my hotel room." You say almost guiltily, Misha waves a hand, dismissively.  
"Don't worry, it's on me." He says with a warm smile.  
"Oh, thank yo- _oh_." You pause, mid-sentence, frowning. "My room keys are in that bag too." You think out loud.  
"We can sort it out with the hotel, I'm sure they'll let you back in." he says, shrugging.  
"Hopefully, but I don't have any ID either," your frown deepening,  
"Well you have that-" Misha points to your name tag and you both start laughing. Once the laughter's subsided, he says, smiling, "If they don't let you in, I'll break the door down." He shows his sincerity by flexing his arm muscles and faux-scowling. Misha makes you laugh, you like him.

In the end, Misha drives you back to your hotel and gets the manager to let you back in your room with ease. You walk in the door and he stands awkwardly, dithering on the threshold.  
"You're welcome to come in." You say, gesturing to the room, "My humble abode, it's no Buckingham Palace but it's pretty cosy." You point at the pile of clothes on a chair and the un-made bed, chuckling.  
"Hey, no judgement here," Misha says, closing the door behind him. "Hell, I lived in a campsite for four months." He laughs,  
"Oh really? That's nothing compared to the time I slept up a tree for a week in a peaceful protest." You laugh, stripping off your tank top to reveal a sports bra.  
"Imma take a quick shower, if you don't mind."  
"No, go ahead I've got a phone call to make anyway." he replied. You had been known on occasion to make people uncomfortable with your varying degrees of nudity, but so far Misha had seemed un-phased. While you were showering, you heard Misha's muffled voice through the wall. You weren't trying to eavesdrop per se, but you had a knack for 'collecting information you weren't stritly supposed to know'. You heard him greet Vicki - his wife, but after that you forced yourself to stop listening, the conversation seemed private. You wash and step out the shower, looking around you see a vast absence of towels. You sigh, check your appearance in the mirror and go the door. You pause as you remember the many times your friends and acquaintances have shouted and thrown various items of clothing at your nakedness. You knock,  
"Misha? Are there any towels out there?" You call softly,  
"Uhh, I can't see any. Do you want me to get you one?" He asked,  
"Nah, it's fine by me, there should be one in my bag," you hesitate, "I'll come get it." You open the door and laugh as Misha looks at you, double-takes and then turns his back, embarrassed.  
"Uh, sorry, I didn't realise you were, gonna-" He mumbles awkwardly,  
"I don't mind." You say, casually, walking over to your bag and finding the towel buried in it's depths. Misha continues facing the wall, until you walk up to him, wrapped in a towel and lightly touch his shoulder. He jumps, startled,  
"You can turn around now." You giggle at his reaction and he chuckles in response, you notice his eyes flicker down your body and your turn to find clean underwear - swaying your hips just slightly as you walk away from him, and bend over to rummage through your bag. He clears his throat and shifts a little where he's standing. You drop your towel baring your back completely and you can practically hear his blush. You slowly put on your panties and then your bra and turn back to face Misha. You smirk as you notice he's sitting down now, one leg crossed across the other and you throw on your robe but leave it untied. You sit near him and both fall quickly into easy conversation. About midday he tells you he's got some stuff to do, but you exchange numbers and promise to meet up before you go back home.  
"How long are you staying in Bellingham?"  
"Not sure." You reply, "Haven't got a return ticket, I'm pretty much just here to explore."  
"Well I could show you some great places to explore." Misha said, then added, almost shyly, "Y'know, if you want."  
"I'd love that," You beamed, "Hey Misha, thanks for the coffee."


	2. A Very 'Misha' Date *

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misha takes you on a mystery date.

The next morning you're woken by a text alert.

_Hey (Y/N), you busy today?_

_-Misha_

You smile and type out a reply,

_Morning Mish, I'm totally free. Have something in mind?_

You check the time; half nine. Groaning, you roll out of bed and walk to the bathroom. You'd meant to get up earlier than this to go get groceries and have time to look around for cheap apartments to rent. You'd also decided to stay here, in Washington, for a while longer, and realised that you didn't want to spend another month in this mediocre hotel room.

_**Buzz** _

_Maybe. It's a secret destination. Hope you don't mind getting wet, pick you up around 3?_

_-Misha_

_See you then Misha :-)_

You chuck your phone onto the bed and get into the shower. Ten minutes later, you're putting on some light makeup and fixing your (H/C) bed-head into something presentable. You wear some jean-shorts with tights and a light grey shirt. It looks like it'll be sunnier today, so you opt for a leather jacket and converse. Grabbing your phone and purse you walk outside and head for the grocery store.

 

 _ **2:56PM.**_ You walk into your hotel room, flop down on your bed and groan, kicking your sore legs unceremoniously. The walk back to the hotel was longer than you'd thought and concrete and converse don't mix well over long distances. There's a knock at the door and you sigh, after a moment you reluctantly stand and walk over to open the door.

"Hey Misha!" You greet him,

"Hey (Y/N), ready to go?" He asked,

"Yep, just let me grab my phone." You smile at him.

 

You pull up in Misha's car to the edge of some trees and you both get out. Misha opens the back door and brings out a rucksack, he pats it and winks before offering his arm to you, chivalrously. You take it and he leads you into the trees. You chat as you walk further into the trees, and soon you hear the gurgling of a stream. Suddenly Misha stops and looks around.

"Did you get us lost, Collins?" You tease, he just grins and shakes his head. 

"This way" He leads you off the path, through the trees for a short way, the undergrowth is thick and the light's almost all blocked out by the canopy above. All of a sudden, the trees stop and you emerge into a clearing. Misha grins, watching you as you look around in awe - there's a small outcrop of rocks, off of which flows a waterfall pouring into a deep, crystalline pool. 

"Misha, this place is magical," You say softly.

"Yeah, I know."  He takes your hand and leads you to sit with him on a rock by the edge of the pool, the spray from the waterfall creates a mist around you. 

"I like to come here to meditate, or sometimes just to clear my head." Misha looks intensely at peace beside you and you think you've never seen a more beautiful sight. 

 _"Wait, what?"_ You think, suddenly,  _"I mean of course Misha's insanely handsome, and charming, and funny, but he's no more than a friend (Y/N)!"_ You scold yourself and realise you're still staring at the man in front of you. He's staring back at you, smiling slightly. Misha leans in and kisses you. Softly, sweetly and without urgency. You kiss back, melting into his taste and the warmth of his lips. Slowly you break away.

"Misha?" You're voice is hushed,

"Mm?" He hums.

"Don't you have- Y'know, a wife, and kids?" You're tentative asking him, but the question's tugging at the back of your mind. Misha chuckles and rests his forehead against yours. 

"Yeah, Vicki's fine with this." He explains, "We're not exactly exclusive - in fact, remember that phone call I made while you were in the shower yesterday?" You nod, "That was me checking she was okay with this." He pauses, "It has been a while, since I - since either of us has... This, done this." Misha frowns nervously, remembering something before you interrupt his train of thought.

"Good." You say, before kissing him, softly but passionately. Your hands find his face and his find your waist. At some point the kissing stops and you lie back together, hands clasped together, watching the water. 

 

It turns out Misha's rucksack was full of picnic food; strawberries, sandwiches, muffins and somehow, champagne and chocolate cake. He lays out a blanket on a grassy patch of the bank and the two of you talk, eat and share lazy kisses for the rest of the afternoon. 

Misha stands up, abruptly and pulls his shirt over his head. You look at him curiously - 

"Water should be warmer now." He says, grinning and walks down to dip a toe into the pool. He removes it quickly and looks back at you. You're standing too now, and you raise an eyebrow,

"Misjudge the temperature a bit there Mish?" You ask. He just shrugs, strips the rest of the way down to his boxers and dives, majestically into the water. His head emerges from the water and he gasps, looking shell-shocked. You laugh at him, but a look of pure evil flashes across his face before he splashes an arc of freezing water at you. You scream and run away, laughing. He climbs out of the water and walks after you, looking apologetic, but as he comes closer he breaks into a grin and encompasses you in his cold, wet embrace. He laughs and buries his head in the crook of your neck as you feign horror, but soon join in his laughter. He's still so engrossed in making you as cold and wet as possible that he doesn't notice you carefully walking him to the edge of the water. You take a breath and push him backwards into the pool, but to your surprise, he catches hold of your arm and drags you straight after him. You both tumble into the icy water and for a few terrifying moments you feel like you can't breathe. His strong grip pulls you up from the depths. You surface and gasp, trying to get your breath back and once you do your gaze falls on his concerned face. 

"(Y/N), are you okay? I'm so sorry, I didn't think-" His face is etched with worry, and you - being the cruel person you are - decide to get him back a little for freezing you half to death. Your lip quivers and you start shaking. His eyes widen and he starts pulling you to the river bank. He collapses on the bank, breathing heavily, pulling you on top of him before trying to see your face and check if your okay. He feels your laughter before he hears it, and then he sees your ginning face and rolls his eyes, dropping his head to the ground. 

"You fucker," He laughs, "I thought I'd hurt you!" 

"Well you _are_ the one who pulled me in in the first place." You retort,

"Hey, only because you pushed me in!" 

"Ah, good point." You both break into hysterics. After a few minutes you start shivering - genuinely this time - and so does Misha. 

"I brought some spare clothes you can wear if you want." Misha offers. 

"Thanks, that would be good," You say through your teeth chattering. It turns out the spare clothes Misha brought were a T-shirt that was five sizes too big and shorts that were much the same, but they were warm and dry and you weren't complaining. The two of you made your way back through the woods, Misha only getting you lost a couple of times, and arrived back at his car. On the drive back, the two of you danced comically to the radio and laughed about things that really weren't funny. When you got back to your hotel, you saw Misha's face sadden a little. 

"What's up?" You ask. Misha shakes his head,

"It's nothing, it's just... How long  _are_ you staying?"

"Oh yeah! I meant to tell you, I'm staying at least a couple more months and I've started looking for and apartment to rent for the time being." You ramble, "I mean, if that's what you want-" Misha's face lights up and he grins.

"Of course that's what I want (Y/N), I love your company." He adds the last bit a little sheepishly. You lean over to his side of the car and gently kiss him before pulling away.

"Call me." You say as you get out of the car. 

"I will." 

Your smile stays on your face until you fall asleep that night and you decide to text your friend to tell her about your day.

 


	3. Risky Text *

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misha decides to send you a risky text, which turns out to pay off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut. Just saying \\_(ツ)_/¯  
> Also this chapter kind of switches from reader's POV to Misha's so sorry if it's a little confusing.

Misha was pacing back and forth in front of his TV. He'd spent the last ten minutes writing, erasing, then re-writing a text to you. Vicki and the kids had been back in L.A for almost a month and Misha had been missing his wife more than emotionally. When scrolling through Twitter had found an entirely innocent post tagged #FreeTheNipple. Now, Misha had always been one for not sexualising the human body, but something about seeing multiple naked, posing women, coupled with the time away from his partner had done something to him. Without thinking he had typed out a text to you, but as his finger hovered over the send button, his brain kicked in. 

_What the fuck Misha? You've only been on one date with her, she might not even want to have sex with you!_

He deleted the text, only to type it out again a few minutes later when his dick reminded him of the attention it wanted. This went on for about ten minutes before Misha finally pressed send. He immediately tossed the phone onto the couch and put his head in his hands, regretting his decision. 

_You've totally just fucked it up Misha, you idiot, why do you always let your sex drive make decisions?!_

 

_**Buzz** _

You liked waking up to texts from Misha, what you didn't like so much, however, was waking up at half eleven at night just as you were dozing off in bed. The day had been pretty rough and you'd been glad to close your eyes and drift off. Nevertheless, you opened the text:

_Hey (Y/N), I know it's kinda late but I was wondering if you wanted to come over to my place. I'm lonely and I need entertaining ;-)_

_-Misha_

You rubbed your eyes, wondering if you were really still asleep and dreaming, but when you checked, the text was still there. Misha might not have even meant what was implied, but the thought of what  _was_ implied made you weak at the knees, even if you were lying down.

_Be there in 15_

You sent the text and practically leaped out of bed, looking around a little frantically. You decided to shower first, shaving and exfoliating every inch of yourself. Next you put on a little makeup and the sexiest underwear you'd brought to Washington. They were black and lacy, with red detailing and they made you  _feel_ sexy, even if no one else thought so. As you put on a short, flowy, grey skirt and a blue blouse you tried to slow your breathing. You wouldn't deny you'd thought of Misha on lonely nights, or in showers that got a little heated, but now it might actually  _happen._ On the other hand you might have just totally misread the signals and leave being horny and slightly embarrassed, but it was worth the risk. You checked the time, you were running a little late, but luckily Misha's house was only a five minute taxi drive from the hotel you were still staying in. 

 

_Shit_

Misha checked his phone for the hundredth time since he sent his text. It showed you were only a minute later than you said you'd be, and yet Misha was freaking out. 

_What if she changed her mind? What if she thinks I just want to chill, which is fine too but -_

His thoughts were stopped by a knock at the door. He took a deep breath, wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans, taking care not to further excite his semi-hard dick, he didn't want to scare you off with a huge tent in his pants when he greeted you. He opened the door. 

"Hey Mish," You said, a hint of nervousness in your voice. You kissed him softly on the lips, but he deepened the kiss immediately, pushing you up against the wall. A moan escaped your lips as your back hit against it, Misha's body pressing up against you. You'd already given him full access to your mouth and his tongue danced against yours. You ground against him slightly, causing a slight whine to escape his lips, which was  _extremely_ sexy. You felt his hands slide behind you, onto your ass. You guessed what he wanted and wrapped your legs around him, mouths still attached and he moaned as you ground against him, harder this time. He was only wearing sweat pants and a t-shirt so you could feel his hardness through the thin layers of clothes. He broke away from the kiss slightly, glancing at the door, which was still wide open. He set you back on your feet and chuckled, closing the door before taking your hand and leading you through to the bedroom. He started closing the door before hesitating,

"You do want this, right? I'm so sorry, I should've asked, it's totally fine if you just want to-" You cut Misha off by kissing him, sweetly but heatedly. 

"Misha, I wouldn't have come if I didn't want this. Although I  _really_ like you, I was  _really_ comfy in bed," You mused, smirking at his adorableness. 

"But thanks for checking." You added, before getting lost in his taste once again. Soon you were both breathing heavily and you were starting to ache. You walked Misha towards the bed and his knees hit the side, buckling and making him fall backwards. You drew a line down his chest with your finger, admiring him from above. His hair was a little sexed - up and his lips were slightly swollen and parted, just a little. His blue eyes were blown and he was looking up at you through thick lashes. His his rapid breathing was evident. You unbuttoned your shirt, teasingly slowly, but Misha couldn't take his widened eyes off of you. Finally you were free of your shirt and you kicked off your shoes and shimmied out of your skirt - quickly giving up on the strip tease. You climbed back on top of the dishevelled man before you, settling with your legs on either side of his hips, his hardness pressing gently into your thigh. He leaned up and kissed you hotly and impatiently, hands reaching for your bra clasp. You pulled back, smirking.

"That's hardly fair Mish. Strip." Your voice was more commanding than you'd intended, but it seemed to do something to him. His eyes darkened and he sat up to take his shirt off. You admired his toned torso for a moment before hooking your fingers through the waistband of his pants and pulling them off in one smooth motion. You bit your lip, watching as his rock hard cock sprung from under his pants. He hadn't been wearing underwear. Before you could do anything, Misha suddenly growled:

"Now _you're_ wearing too many clothes."  His voice made you whimper, a little pathetically, but before you knew it his mouth was on your collarbones, kissing and nibbling. He sucked gently, marking you as his, before moving down the top of your breasts. While his mouth was working there, you almost didn't notice his hands undoing your bra. He slipped it off your shoulders, growling appreciatively. You gasped a little, that sound was  _incredibly_ sexy. Misha smirked, realising he'd found something that turned you on, before pushing you onto your back and taking the band of your panties in his mouth. He teasingly pulled them off with his mouth before trailing soft kisses up your legs. When he reached your folds he took one tantalising lick before going straight in. His tongue was like magic, teasing your clit and diving in and out of your pussy. You were gasping and moaning his name. He stopped and you looked down, he was grinning up at you. You smiled affectionately and leaned down to kiss him. You could taste yourself on his tongue, which was surprisingly sexy. You took his cock gently in your hand and started to stroke. He moaned needily into your mouth encouraging you. He whined when your mouth left his, but gasped when it instead took in his cock. To start off with you teased the head, lapping up his precome before swallowing him to the hilt. He groaned in ecstasy when his cock hit the back of your throat. It had been a while since you'd done this so you gagged a little, eliciting a moan from Misha. Encouraged, you relaxed your throat and started to move back and forth, your nose brushing his soft curls every so often. When you didn't speed up, Misha started to thrust into your mouth, desperately. His hands gripped the back of your head, hands threading into your hair. He kept thrusting, cock hitting the back of your throat every time and before long he croaked,

"Oh god, (Y/N), I'm gonna come," He started to pull back, but you grabbed his hips, dragging him back into your mouth. He groaned happily and thrust deeply a few more times before you felt him, hot and sticky, coming down your throat. You swallowed and took your mouth off his softening cock. He looked absolutely blissed, eyes closed and panting, shallowly. You crawled up beside him and kissed him softly. You were still wet and aching slightly, but you decided your orgasm could wait - Misha just looked so peaceful and exhausted, so you curled up beside him and he wrapped a hand sleepily around you. You reached over to turn off the light and watched as Misha drifted off to sleep, with you not far behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this fic might go in a slightly deep direction? I'm not sure yet, also there might be some Reader/Vicki/Misha lovin' coming up - take it or leave it :P


	4. Meeting Vicki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You unexpectedly meet Vicki after your night with Misha.

You woke up in a tangle of limbs and sheets. Sunlight was falling across Misha's face, making him look peaceful and angelic. You really had to pee, so you carefully detached yourself from Misha, careful not to wake him. You had never been to Misha's house before, so once you'd relieved yourself and washed your face you decided to look around. You were looking fondly at some pictures of Misha's family on the mantelpiece when you felt some strong arms around your waist. You tensed, but remembered it was Misha so instantly relaxed into him.

"Morning." You could hear the smile in his voice and he nuzzled your hair.

"Morning Mish," you replied, fondly. "Your family's cute." You turned around and kissed him chastely before wandering to look around the room some more.

"Thanks," Misha said, sounding genuine. "You'll have to meet Vicki, I'm sure you'd love her." then suddenly, "I mean, you don't have to of course! It's fine either way, I didn't mean to pressure you-"

"Mish, you have to stop worrying about me." You chuckle. "I'm not easily scared off ya know." Misha smiled sheepishly. "And I would love to meet your wife." Misha broke out into a grin, clearly happy with your decision.

You both heard keys in the front door and turned to look. A woman's figure tiptoed through the door, closing it carefully behind her, not making a sound, before she turned around, straightened up and froze, like a deer in the headlights. Her eyes were wide as she glanced at you, then at Misha, then back at you. You decided to break the silence.

"You must be Vicki!" You said cheerfully. You recognised her from the photos and you hoped not  _too_ many women had keys to Misha's house. She visibly relaxed and shot you a smile.

"I was just leaving," You say, slightly awkwardly. This was clearly a lie as you were wearing Misha's dressing gown and bare feet.

"Oh well don't leave because of me," Vicki said, "You're (Y/N), I assume?"

"Yeah, that's me."

"Well it's nice to meet you (Y/N)." She offered a hand for you to shake and you accepted. Misha had relaxed since Vicki first made her enterance, but still seemed a little tense. He walked over and hugged his wife. "Hey Vick, this is a surprise." Vicki laughed,

"Yeah, I can tell," She said, glancing at you. "I was able to come sooner than I'd thought, and I've left the kids with Darius. I was gonna sneak in and surprise you. He's not normally up this early on weekends." She smiled, addressing the last part to you. You chuckled, not knowing what to say.

"Well," Misha said hesitantly, "I could make us all some breakfast, now your here, Vick?" She smiled and nodded, then looked at you,

"Sounds good." You reply.

 

Half an hour later, you're all sitting round the kitchen table, laughing at stories about Misha, while he blushes and mumbles about the 'unfairness of polyamory'. You're back in your own clothes at this point, having excused yourself before breakfast. Although you were comfortable with the situation, it still didn't feel  _right_ being dressed in the man you fucked last night's clothes while chatting with his wife. Vicki and you are getting along great though, and at one point you catch Misha gazing lovingly at the two of you getting along. After an hour or so you realise you should probably let Misha see his wife a bit, plus you did plan on looking for apartments again today.

"I should probably get going, I  _did_ actually have stuff planned for today," You say, laughing. "It was lovely meeting you Vicki, I hope I see you soon." You stand, and Vicki stands with you. To your slight surprise, she pulls you into a hug, kissing your cheek as you break apart. 

"You too." She smiles, happily. 

"I'll see you Mish," You wave a hand, not sure what the 'wife in the room' protocol is. Misha walks you to the door and kisses you goodbye, telling you to text him later. He slaps your ass as you walk out the door, and you leave laughing at the bizareness of the Collins' household.

 

Later that evening your phone buzzes. It's from Misha,

_I'm reallly gla d you like my wife babe_

**_Misha, are you drunk?_ **

_No_

_Okay yes_

_Blame Vicki, she likes to get me drukn cos Im easy when im drunk_

**_Naughty girl_ **

You laugh, and then hesitate. Was that okay to say to him? Oh god what if you're crossing a line.

_Oh baby, dont promise waht you cant deliver ;)_

**_Who says I can't deliver?_ **

_Stop teasing me_

**_You're drunk Mish, go to bed (with Vicki if you want)._ **

_Night (Y/N)_

**_G'night Mish <3._ **

 


	5. Vicki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Vicki are left alone...

It had been about a week since you met Vicki and you'd seen her a few times since, always with Misha. Today however, the three of you were planning on a movie night at Misha and Vicki's, but for some reason you'd all managed to drink the last of the wine and Misha really, really wanted popcorn so he had gone to the store to get some - leaving you alone on the couch with Vicki. The two of you were casually chatting, telling stories. You must've said something really funny because suddenly Vicki was bent over your lap, in hysterics. You were laughing too, but in all honesty you were a little distracted by her closeness. You both stopped laughing and Vicki sat up. Your faces were inches apart and you gazed into her eyes. Maybe it was the wine, maybe it was the crush you were developing on her, but you found yourself glancing down at her lips. Okay, maybe not glancing, maybe staring. Eventually though, it was Vicki who leaned in, closing the gap. Your lips met hers and she tasted of strawberries. It wasn't a heated kiss, it was gentle and loving. Her hands were on your face and yours were on her waist. That's how Misha found you two, as the door opened, you broke apart, but not before he saw you.  
"Oh god, I'm sorry, have you guys talked about this? I don't want to overstep-" Your eyes were watering slightly and you blamed the alcohol but in reality you were genuinely worried you were crossing some unspoken boundary. Misha dropped the bags he was carrying and rushed over to you, taking your hands in his. 

"No baby, it's okay. We um," He glanced at his wife, "We have talked about this."

 

*A Week Earlier*

Vicki had left the room for a minute and Misha was absently on Twitter. He was also quite drunk. He saw your name and pulled up your contact.

_I'm reallly gla d you like my wife babe_

He  _was_ really glad you had liked Vicki - it made things so much easier.

**_Misha, are you drunk?_ **

She knows me so well. He thought.

_No_

_Okay yes_

Vicki walked back into the room.

"Ooh Misha's texting (Y/N)" She cooed. 

"Shut up," Misha replied fondly.

_Blame Vicki, she likes to get me drukn cos Im easy when im drunk_

"Whatcha texting about?" Vicki asked, coming to sit next to her husband.

"You." Misha replied simply. 

"Really?" Vicki perked up, "What's she saying?" Misha looked at his wife curiously. Then said, almost accusingly.

"You like her don't you."

"Yeah Misha, you know I like her. You picked her." Vicki said, a little confused.

"Yeah but you  _like_ like her." Misha stated. Vicki blushed and hid behind her wine glass.

_**Naughty girl** _

Vicki tried to peer over at the message, but Misha held his phone away.

"Come  _on_ Misha, what's she saying?"

"I'll tell you if you admit you have a crush on her." 

"Fine, I do. Now let me see!" Vicki grabbed for the phone and Misha let her have it, smirking as he saw Vicki's expression reading the text. Before he could stop her, Vicki was typing out a reply. 

"Hey!" Misha tried to grab his phone back, but it was too late. He read what she wrote.

_Oh baby, dont promise waht you can't deliver ;)_

Before Misha could text you saying that wasn't from him, you replied.

_**Who says I can't deliver?** _

Misha's heart skipped a beat and he must've been staring at he text for a long time because Vicki gently took the phone from him and read the text, blushing as she did so. 

"Do you think she means that?" Vicki asked, a little giddy, giving Misha his phone back. Misha just shrugged.

_Stop teasing me_

"Just so you know, it would be fine with me. Y'know, us three." Misha said, drowsily.

"Thanks Misha, but you're drunk, we'll see what you hangover-you has to say about it.

 

*Present*

 

"And so we did." Misha finished his story, looking slightly vulnerable. 

"But we're fine with whatever you're comfortable with, of course." Vicki added, smiling comfortingly. You have no idea why, but in that moment you started to cry. You were so overwhelmed by these two people's utter support and love. The next thing you knew you were enveloped in two pairs of arms. 

 


	6. Misha's Kids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You meet West and Maison.

You woke up in Misha's bed. Your face was inches from his and he was sleeping peacefully. You felt someone move behind you and you tensed. Feeling an arm snake around your waist and you remembered it belonged to Vicki. The three of you had drunk quite a lot of wine the night before, after your breakdown Misha had put on a DVD and the the three of you curled up together, eating popcorn and drinking. You racked your brain, trying to remember what had happened between the point you were cuddled up with Vicki and Misha and now, but you couldn't remember for the life of you. So instead you kissed Misha lightly. He groaned sleepily and kissed back, eyes still closed. Vicki must've been awake this whole time because the turned you gently to face her, kissing you slightly more meaningfully than the sleeping Misha. You continued sharing lazy kisses for a while, and at one point you felt Misha snuggle up behind you. Your brain didn't register at the time that you could feel his morning wood pressing against your back. Eventually you heard your stomach growl, loudly, so you untangled yourself and wandered through to the kitchen to find some food. In the end you settled on some yoghurt you found in Misha's fridge. You walked back through to the bedroom to find Misha and Vicki fucking lazily under the sheets. It made you a little uncomfortable so you left the room without them seeing you, walking through to the living room. You flopped down on the couch and scrolled through your phone. You'd been so caught up with Misha lately you hadn't had a chance to catch up with your friends. You had a few texts asking how you were and one missed phone call from your mum, but before you could phone her back Vicki and Misha came in. 

"Good morning (Y/N)." Misha smiled, brightly. 

"You're chirpy this morning, wonder why." You pointedly glanced at Vicki, making Misha blush. 

"Oh, you saw that? I, um, hope you don't mind, it's just you left-" he mumbled awkwardly. You laughed,

"Misha." You took his face in your hands. "What the fuck kind of girlfriend would I be if I wan't okay with you sleeping with your wife?" Misha grinned sheepishly and kissed you before going to get himself breakfast. You followed him into the kitchen,

"Um, (Y/N), I meant to say, but West and Maison are coming up the day after tomorrow. You can meet them if you want, I mean you don't have to, obviously." Misha sounded hopeful.

"I would love to meet your kids." You say, making Misha grin and you see Vicki smile behind him. 

"Okay. Good. Um, there's just one thing." He hesitated and you raised an eyebrow. Misha averted your eye contact and then rushed out.

"It's just that you know they're  _kids_ and I don't want them getting really attached to someone who's leaving soon. So I might just introduce you as a friend, if you don't mind." Misha looked nervous, but you smiled, comforting him.

"Whatever you want Mish, they're your kids." You paused before adding, "But just so you know, I'm not planning on leaving anytime soon."

"Good." Vicki joined in the conversation, wrapping her arms round her husband from behind.

"I think we both agree that you're the best thing that happened to us in a while." You blushed at that before saying, gently

"I'm glad."

 

Two days later you were nervously walking up to the Collins' front door, the kids had got there late last night and Misha had asked you to come today. You weren't much of a 'kid person', but these were  _Misha and Vicki's_ you thought. They had to be at least a little better than the average kid. As you neared the door, you heard children screaming, which scared you a little. Honestly you almost started walking back the way you came, but instead you took a deep breath and knocked on the door. A few minutes passed and you thought no one had heard you, over the noise inside, but the door opened and suddenly the noise died down. Misha was standing with a little girl - Maison - in his arms. She had her head buried in his shoulder, shying away from you. Behind Misha you saw West, hiding behind his dad's legs.

"You're late!" Misha said, accusingly but with a grin.

"Well I wouldn't be if you didn't take so long to answer the door." You rolled your eyes and he laughed, letting you through the door.

"Hi West," You said, shyly to him, waving slightly. 

"Hi" West giggled and ran off to another room.

"Maison, why don't you say hello to (Y/N)?" Misha asked the girl clinging to him. She just buried her face closer to Misha. He laughed,

"She's shy. Just remember Maison, she's more scared of you than you are of her." Misha laughed when you agreed with him, nodding reassuringly.

 

It turned out you weren't as bad with kids as you thought, befriending them and gaining access to their blanket fort in only two hours. You had also saved Maison from falling and hitting her head on the fireplace, which Vicki was hilariously grateful for. Currently you were sitting, cramped between the couch and a chair, a blanket above your head. It was actually a pretty decent fort, you doubted you could do better yourself. You were having a whispered conversation about the enemies' tactics (Misha and Vicki) while Maison was having a tea party at the other side of the fort. Out of nowhere, West asked you,

"(Y/N), are you mommy and daddy's girlfriend?" Your eyes widened before you stuttered out,

"Um..." 

"You are!" West shouted in victory. "I knew it." 

"She is what?" Misha's head came poking through the entrance behind you. He saw your panicked face and looked concerned before West interjected,

"(Y/N)'s daddy's girlfriend." West giggled and ran out of the fort. Misha looked at you, eyebrows tented slightly before you explained.

"He asked, and I didn't know what to say so he just sort of, assumed." You look away, ashamed. Misha started laughing and came into the fort, pulling you into his arms.

"Eh, they'd find out eventually." He kissed the top of your head before leaving to tell Vicki that the kids knew. You sighed in relief that Misha hadn't been mad his kids knew, before joining Maison's tea party.

 

You'd stayed for dinner and it was getting late. Misha and Vicki had combined their efforts at getting West to go to bed, and you were sitting on the couch watching TV. You paused the show, thinking you heard crying, and sure enough there was a faint whimper coming from under the table. You stood up and walked towards it, bending down to look underneath you saw a curled up ball of Maison, her face tear-streaked. 

"Maison?" You asked gently, "What's wrong?" 

"Ha- had a scary dream." Maison sobbed. "Where - where's mommy?" 

"Mommy's upstairs just now Maison," before adding softly, "Can I help at all?" At that Maison crawled out from under the table into your arms. You stood up with her clinging to your side. You carried her back to the couch and sat her on your lap. 

"Do you want to tell me about your dream?" You asked her, she shook her head and nuzzled into your neck before falling asleep. After not too long, you felt your eyelids get heavy and you drifted off with Maison. 

A few minutes later Misha and Vicki came back to the living room, Misha began saying

"Sorry about that (Y/N), West can be a real pain-" He stopped, seeing you and Maison cuddled up asleep on the couch. He motioned to his wife to keep quiet before putting a blanket over you and his daughter. He took a step back, placing an arm around Vicki and feeling his heart fill with love at the sight in his living room. He kissed Vicki before going to bed with a smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot write child dialogue, so don't blame me if the kids are pretty much mute.


	7. You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You tell Misha why you're here and he offers you something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this chapter gets kinda heavy, but it's all kinda relevant to the story. Also there will be more smut coming up, I just like a balance. Enjoy!  
> -B

It had been about two months since you met Misha. Since then, West, Maison and Vicki had gone back to L.A, leaving Misha lonely more often than before. Today had been fun - Misha had taken you sailing on the lake and afterwards you'd gone to a beautiful little restaurant on the waterfront. It had wound down with champagne and giggles, and now the two of you were sprawled, limbs entangled on Misha's bed. You hadn't had any luck finding an apartment and it didn't help that you were very picky when it came to choosing a place to live. Misha hadn't been very nosy as to why you were here, where you were from, and to be frank, he didn't know all that much about you, and didn't ask - until now.

"(Y/N)?" He asked, alcohol slurring his words a bit.

"Yeah Mish?"

"Why did you come to Washington? And why alone? And why d'you live in a hotel?" The questions kept coming, so you decided to tell Misha your story.

 

You grew up in (Y/HT). You had a loving family and a group of supportive friends. You did well in school and you loved adventure, always exploring when you got a chance. The problem begun when you were about 23. You went to university and made some new friends, and around that time, you met someone. His name was David and you would have described it as 'love at first sight'. You'd been introduced to him at a party when you were pleasantly drunk. As you found out later, to put it lightly, that night he was off his tits. You went home with him that night, but as soon as you got in the door he collapsed. You checked his pulse which was alarmingly low, so you panicked, calling an ambulance. You sat with him in the ambulance at 3AM, your heart racing. You'd only just met him and the situation terrified you. That night the paramedics told you quite how 'off his tits' he really was. By which time you had a serious crush on the guy and so pushed the idea that he might be bad for you aside. You got into a serious relationship with him and at the start it was thrilling. He'd take you on his motorbike down the coast going 100 down the country roads and getting stoned on the beach. He sated your appetite for adventure and you loved him for it. About a year after you started dating, he lost all his friends and started going to bars instead of out with them. He'd come home to you and collapse on the couch, stinking of alcohol, often covered in bruises from bar fights he undoubtedly started. You tried to get him back on his feet, you asked him to move to a new place, start afresh but he refused. On multiple occasions he came home and raped you. You let him - you thought he was entitled and that maybe it would help somehow. You didn't love him anymore, but you didn't leave; he needed help and you still thought you could give that to him. You tried, God knows you tried _everything_. Letting him tear you apart as he fell into hell. One night you woke up in the middle of the night, alone. You assumed David was sleeping on the couch, so you went through to carry him to the bedroom. You felt uneasy that night, but you just assumed it was the life growing inside you. You were pregnant with his child, you hadn't told him. As you stepped into the living room your heart started racing, you saw David's silhouette slumped over the table, his head resting on a piece of paper. You inched over to him, trembling, and when you reached him it felt like your heart stopped. You could read part of the paper he was on - it was a letter. He apologised _so much_ in that letter, he said he was sorry for what he had put you through but that it was all going to be okay now, it was all over now. You didn't cry. You just held his limp body, rocking gently in the pale moonlight streaming through the open window lighting his pale face. He seemed so small, so delicate there in your arms and you cried out in frustration. You had failed. You hadn't saved him. The police came after you called them in the early morning, and once they were done with the investigation - not that there was much of one, it was a textbook suicide - you left. Everybody understood, but you couldn't bear facing the pitying smiles everywhere you looked. Your apartment reminded you of the life you'd had there and the life you'd tried to save there. You lost the baby, the doctors told you that it was normal, you being under that amount of stress and all. But what was normal about it? You remember feeling frustrated - no, you were furious as you left the doctors'. This wasn't normal. You had lost two people, except they weren't lost. David was six feet under the ground in a field and the other one was probably in a surgical bin in the clinic behind you. You screamed and kicked the wall, falling to your knees, drained. You blamed yourself. You told yourself it was _your_ fault - _you_ killed them. You knew you didn't but just because you _know_ something doesn't mean you believe it, so you left that night. You only packed the necessities - looking for a new start. You missed Christmas, you were on a plane en route to America at the time. Your family called and you sounded happy - not that you were fooling anyone, especially yourself. 

"About a week later, I met you." You finished your story, staring at the wall, blankly. "I don't want to go back, but I don't want to settle down. Then it would all become _real_." Your voice cracked as you said the last part, you let out a shaky breath and sat up, drawing your knees to your chin. A tear slid down your cheek. You had been blocking out any thoughts of why you were here since you arrived and suddenly they were all coming back, washing over you like tidal waves. Misha was so quiet you thought he might have fallen asleep, so you looked over - he was staring at you, his eyes glassy. His face looked so hurt, broken by your past.

"Mish?" You said, quietly. Immediately he wrapped his arms around you, jumping into action. 

"(Y/N), I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry you had to go through that." You felt him trembling around you and you broke down, sobbing in his arms. He laid you down and you stayed there, your heart burning until you fell asleep. Misha however stayed up later, thinking about what you told him. He thought for a long time before he decided to call Vicki. It was late, but he hoped she would be up - and sure enough, she answered on the third ring. 

"Misha, what the fuck are you calling me at this hour for?" Vicki asked, feigning anger.

"Vick I need to ask you something." Misha's serious tone shut Vicki up immediately.

"Shoot."

 

 

You wake up alone, but to a pleasant smell of bacon and what you guessed were pancakes. You get up, cringing at your headache. As the pain shoots through your head, the memory of last night floods back to you. You wince and wander reluctantly to the kitchen. You don't like opening up to people and you like breaking down in front of them even less. Misha's cooking bacon and so you walk over and put your arms around him. He jumps before relaxing.

"Morning." You say, fondly.

"Morning, sleepyhead."

"Mm, what time is it?" You ask, reaching for your phone.

"Almost midday." He replies.

"Oops." Misha giggles at your response.

"So." Misha states.

"So." You retort.

"I made breakfast."  
"I see that. Looks delicious."  
"But, I did want to talk to you. Seriously."

"Uh, oh." You pout.

"Nothing bad," Misha says, a little uncertain. "It's about your living situation."  
"Go on."  
"This house is pretty big." He says, gesturing around him.  
"Misha." You say, deadpan.  
"Yes?"  
"Are you asking me to move in with you?" You raise an eyebrow. Misha shrugs, nonchalant.  
"If you want. Consider it a standing offer, no pressure, just you staying here instead of that crappy hotel." He turns back to tend to the bacon. You hug him abruptly, startling him.  
"Thank you Misha." He grins, placing a kiss on the top of your head.  
"I've talked it over with Vicki and she's cool with it and-"  
"But really Mish. Thank you for everything. Thank you for understanding and thank you for sitting on the bench next to me all those months ago. I don't like to say this, but I honestly don't know where I'd be of you hadn't." Misha tightens his hold on you.  
"Don't say that." He says firmly. "So you'll stay here?"  
"Yes."


	8. In Bed with the Collins' *

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You, Misha and Vicki get hot and heavy in the bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do I really need to warn you guys that there's gonna be smut? Well, there is. Threesome smut - the best kind of smut.

You'd been living with Misha for about a week and it wasn't as scary as you'd feared. You panicked a few times but Misha was always there to calm you down. Today Vicki was coming for the weekend, which you and Misha had been looking forward to. They were going to throw you a house welcoming party, just the three of you. Misha had even gone out to buy some wine, dinner and condoms. You were both in the living room when you heard keys turn in the door. Vicki came in and immediately hugged you, welcoming to their home. You knew Misha had told her some of why it was hard, but she didn't know the whole story. You kissed her and said thank you with a warm smile. Once Misha and Vicki had greeted each other, you sat down to dinner, catching up. After dinner and drinks someone suggested you move to the bedroom, it might have been you, but you honestly doubt any one of you would remember. You were nervous, but wine made you giggly and care - free and they other two knew this was new to you. 

"(Y/N), we can stop at anytime, just say the word and we'll understand." Misha's voice was gentle and it meant a lot to you that he was being so considerate. You kissed him passionately, smiling against his mouth when he moaned a little. Misha lifted your shirt at the edges, asking you silently to take it off. You took it off the rest of the way, doing the same to him before resuming making out. You pulled away and turned to Vicki, wanting to take advantage of the situation fully. She kissed you, taking her own shirt off and you heard Misha removing his jeans. You pulled away from Vicki to see Misha palming his hard on through his boxers. You shimmied out of your pants and walked back to him, cupping his hardness before dropping to your knees. You pulled out his cock, licking the precum off the tip before you teased him, running the tip of your tongue along his length. You stood back up and he groaned in frustration before getting lost in your mouth. You stroked him, making him buck and grind against you needily. Vicki came around behind you, kissing your neck and shoulders so you turned to her. You had both stripped completely at some point and she cupped your breasts, and moaned, licking into your mouth. Your hands roamed her body and you heard Misha whine behind you. When you turned back to him he was stroking himself slowly, admiring you and Vicki. 

"On the bed." You command Misha and he complies, lying on his back, cock in hand, on the bed. You climb on top of him, straddling his hips. You're horny and frustrated so you reach over for the condoms while grinding on Misha's hardness. You grab them and open one, sliding it onto Misha's throbbing length. You hold the base of his cock, circling your hole before filling yourself with his hardness. You both groan as he reaches the hilt. 

"God (Y/N), you're so tight, feels so good," Misha grunts when you start riding him before looking over to Vicki. She's on the bed now, touching herself, watching you ride her husband. Misha beckons her with a finger, which turns you on even more. Vicki crawls over to straddle Misha's face and you watch his tongue work miracles on her wetness. Your clit grinds his pelvis with every thrust and you're not going to last long. You tell them this, panting but Misha just grins devilishly before thrusting up to meet you. You pick up your pace and feel yourself about to release, 

"Mish, I'm gonna-  _ohh god"_ you pant as you come, tightening around Misha's cock. He cries out softly before filling the condom with his hot come. Vicki stutters to a stop just after, drenching Misha's mouth who laps it up greedily. You get off of Misha and collapse next to him, exhausted. Vicki falls next to you, lazily wrapping an arm around you. Misha gets up to clean himself off and get some washcloths. 

"First  threesome (Y/N)?" Vicki asks.

"First in a long time." You reply, before adding. "And _definitely_ the best."

"Mm, good." Vicki hums, contentedly. Misha comes back and cleans the three of you up as best he can before curling up next to you and turning off the light. 


	9. Calm before the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both Misha and Vicki have to leave you for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's kinda just leading up to the next one, a sorta filler, if you will. And just in case you miss the next chapter, here's a trigger warning for chapter 10 (the one after this) it does contain rape. Just so you know. This one's fine though, enjoy!  
> -B

Another month had passed and you, Vicki and Misha were living in bliss. You really felt like you were leaving your past behind. Tonight Misha and Vicki had to leave for a bit, Misha to visit his brother - Sasha - in Oregon, and Vicki to go back to the kids in L.A. She was only up for a few days just now, while West and Maison were at their grandparents'. To be perfectly honest, you were looking forward to having the house to yourself for a bit, although you enjoyed Misha and Vicki's company, having three in the bed could get crowded at times. Today though, you were all making the most of each other. You'd just been for a walk along the coast and were heading in for a home cooked meal. Misha and Vicki were busy in the kitchen and you were sat watching netflix on the couch. You felt a little guilty for not helping, but the last time you'd tried they had ended up kicking you out of the kitchen because of your lack of cooking skills. You were fine with just washing up though - you'd never been much of a cook. Their meal was delicious - as always. Tonight it was home made pizza with profiteroles  for dessert. Afterwards you were back on the couch, listening to Misha talk through all the plot holes in 'Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency'. You smiled fondly and nodded along, even though you weren't listening properly. It was cute how passionate Misha got about some things - TV shows in particular. He gesticulated with his hands and sometimes got up and paced around without even realising it. Tonight he was just waving his hands, as you were pinning him underneath you, resting your head on his chest.  He'd stopped talking and he placed a kiss on the top of your head. 

"Ugh," Misha groaned. "I need to get going." He started to get up reluctantly, but you stopped him with a kiss.

"No." You protest, pushing him back down.

"Babe, I really have to go to get to a motel before 2AM." You reluctantly got off him and trailed behind him like a shadow as he went to get his bags from the bedroom.

"You can't follow me all the way there," Misha laughed, walking to the front door where Vicki was waiting. He kissed her and embraced her, telling her he'd see her soon, before turning to you. 

"You'll be okay?" He asked, you nodded and pulled him in for a kiss. 

"Have fun." You say, waving as he walks to his car. You sigh and close the door.

"Lets go to a bar." Vicki says suddenly. 

"What, now?" You ask,

"Well I'm leaving in a few hours aren't I? Come on, we'll have fun." So Vicki calls a few of her friends to meet the two of you at a nearby bar. 


	10. Hopeless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're assaulted in an alley, things spiral from there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: RAPE  
> I REPEAT: DO NOT READ IF YOU'RE TRIGGERED BY, OR JUST DON'T WANT TO READ ABOUT RAPE. It isn't particularly graphic in a sexual sense, but is definitely warning-worthy. If you want you can skip the first paragraph - it's pretty much okay from there. (And by okay I mean fuckin' sad.) Sorry!  
> -B

You were walking back home from a bar. You'd been there with Vicki and a few of her friends but Vicki had left before you, on her way back to L.A. It was dark and late - you hadn't wanted to go back to an empty house- the wind was cold so you wrapped your coat tight around yourself as you cut down an alley. It was a shortcut you'd used a few times before, you were starting to get to know the town. The end of the alley was almost pitch black and you felt a knot of fear form in your stomach. You ignored it and quickened your pace. Before you knew what was happening you felt a hand hit your mouth, swallowing your cry. It jarred you and made your head swim. Another hand grabbed one of your breasts and you felt hot, damp breath on your ear. "Don't try to scream, darlin' it'll only make it worse." The British man's voice made your skin crawl and you kicked at him, trying to free yourself. It was hopeless, he was strong and clearly knew what he was doing - you had no way out. Your heart raced and you felt like you were going to be sick. The hand on your breast gave a rough squeeze before reaching up your dress. His hand fumbled with your underwear, his fingers were rough and they hurt. Tears were falling down your face and you'd given up, limp in his arms. Your mind was reminding you of David, but you blocked those thoughts as soon as they entered your mind.

"Hey!" A man's voice echoed down the alley. Your captor loosened his grip giving you room to bite his hand, drawing blood. At the same time you kicked out, striking between his legs. He bent double, nursing his hand. The other man was running down the alley towards you. You ran the other direction - towards Misha's house. You didn't look behind you, your felt like you were going to cough up your lungs and your legs were burning by the time you reached the front door. You fumbled in your pocket for your keys, finding them and frantically jamming them in the lock. Once you were inside you shut the door and leaned against it. Your head hit the hard wood with a thud and you slid to your kneed, head in your hands. At some point during the night you made it to the couch and lay down, staring at the ceiling. At 4AM you still hadn't slept, you weren't thinking about what happened, just tracing patterns that weren't there above you. You were still scared though, your chest felt tight and you were palpitating. You picked up your phone without thinking and called Misha. It went to voicemail, obviously he wouldn't be up this early.

"Hey Misha." Your voice sounded tiny in the empty room. "I'm sorry to call you this early, I should've known you'd be asleep. Sorry if I woke you." You paused, you were rambling, not wanting to mention the reason for your call. "It's just a thing... Happened, tonight, a _bad_ thing and I'm fine, I'm okay. I don't know why I'm calling really. Sorry. _I'm okay._ " You whispered the last part and let your phone fall to the phone, ignoring the crack appearing across the screen. You stood up and shakily walked to the kitchen, working mostly on autopilot. You picked up a bottle of vodka that one of Misha's friends had brought round. The sun was just starting to rise as you shut the front door, the noise echoing around in the silent street. You walked, not really knowing where you were going, carrying only the bottle of vodka. You hadn't even picked up house keys. After an hour or so you realised your feet had brought you to the forest Misha had taken you to the day after you met. You walked under the canopy, enjoying the peace and the nostalgia. Your memory guided you back to the pool you'd been to all those months ago with Misha. It looked even more magical than the last time you were there, the cool morning light casing long shadows across the shimmering water. You took your coat off and lay it on the bank, sitting cross legged on it. You felt empty - like you were dreaming. Realising you were still holding the bottle of vodka you unscrewed the cap and drank. It was cold and it burned, which made you feel better. It made your insides feel clean, if a little raw. You sat at the lake and carried on drinking until the sun had risen. At that point you looked down at your hands - they were shaking violently. You clenched them into fists and choked out an angry sob. This was supposed to be a new start - this was supposed to be _better_. Things were going so well and you had been distracted from your past. But that was just it, all it was was a distraction. All those things had still happened and you couldn't pretend anymore that it happened to someone else. It happened to you. All those terrible things were a part of your life and you couldn't go on denying that. Your face was wet with tears and your throat was sore from alcohol and crying. You curled up, holding the cool glass bottle like a baby, like  _your_  baby. The one that never was. They one that was a part of the man you let down, the one that you let die. The one that was _dead._  Your whole body was shaking now, the body that had been violated a few hours ago, while you stood helpless and desperate. It was too much, your nails dug into your palms, drawing blood that smeared across your palms, your lip was bleeding and bitten. 

At midday Misha found you, passed out on the bank. Your shirt was open haphazardly and across your stomach you'd gauged the bloody words: 

**_Your life is not your own, keep your hands off it._  **

You'd used the sharp edge of your necklace. Misha's face crumpled and he ran over to you picking you up in his arms, placing a kiss on your forehead and running back to his car. He placed you gently in the passenger seat and drove you to the hospital, his knuckles white as he gripped the steering wheel, breaking the speed limit, tears ran down his face and he kept glancing at your fragile form.

 

You woke up in a white room. There was a white ceiling, white walls and white sheets. They were all the same shade. You pondered this for a while before a voice cut through your thoughts.

"(Y/N)?!" It was Vicki. You recognised her voice. It was soothing, you had a headache.

"Hey Vicki? Where am I?" You questioned, sitting up.

"You're in hospital (Y/N). Misha brought you." Suddenly your head flooded with memories. The blood drained from your face and you gripped the edge of the bed, noticing you were attached to some sort of machine. That didn't matter right now though. 

"Vicki." Your voice was barely a whisper. Vicki looked desperately concerned, her eyes full of tears. To her you looked so _small_ and so fragile in the expanse of sheets surrounding you.

"Do you remember?" Vicki already knew the answer. She didn't know why she asked. You just nodded. At that point a nurse came into the room, a sympathetic look on her face. It reminded you of back home, making you feel sick.

"Ah, you're awake." The nurse had a kind voice. "You were brought in with mild alcohol poisoning and... We aren't sure on the rest, would you mind filling us in?" Your face must've fallen because she hurried to add, "You don't have to right now! I can come back later. I just needed to tell you that that's a dialysis machine your plugged into, for the alcohol poisoning, but we can remove it in an hour or so. You should be fine to go home by the end of the day." You nodded.

"Wait, did you say Misha brought me?" You suddenly turned to Vicki, 

"What? Oh, yeah, he found you in the woods and drove you home." 

"I thought he was in Oregon with his brother?" 

"He was on the way there, he'd stopped overnight in a motel and as soon as he woke up he listened to your voicemail and was worried sick so he drove back." Vicki explained. You worried your lip, 

"Oh." You said, simply, then "He didn't have to do that. What about his brother?"

"(Y/N)." Vicki sounded strict. "You were passed out in the middle of nowhere with alcohol poisoning. His brother can wait." 

" _Mild_ alcohol poisoning." You correct her. 

"Right." She pauses. "(Y/N), what happened?" She asks quietly. So you tell her everything you remember. By the end she looks horrified, tears threatening to pour down her face.

"I'm so sorry. I should've been there, I should've been with you." She scolded herself.

"What?! No, Vicki, you were going to L.A. This isn't your fault." You punctuated the last part. She just looked away. You moved an arm across your front, wincing at the unexpected pain it caused. You carefully shifted your hospital gown to see the bandages covering your torso. 

"What happened there?" Vicki asked, concerned. Suddenly the words came back to you: 

 ** _Your life is not your own, keep your hands off it._**  

You must've said them out loud because Vicki covered her mouth with her hands. You looked down in shame.

"A reminder I used to use." You choked back a sob, "After... You know." Your voice was a whisper. "I suppose doing this, " You gestured to your bandages, "was a warning to myself." You mutter, guiltily. 

"Oh, (Y/N)." Vicki says, softly. "What has the world done to you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this slightly harrowing chapter. It will probably(?) get better :) Enjoy!
> 
> -B


	11. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're released from hospital.

The hospital let you go home a few hours later - as they had said. Vicki drove you, the journey was silent. When you got home Misha was making tea. He looked exhausted, but his hair was all ruffled and you could tell he'd just woken up. You felt guilty tears prick your eyes when you saw him, which of course he noticed.

"(Y/N)." He whispered before running over and engulfing you in his arms. He buried his face in your hair, rocking you gently back and forth. 

"Vicki told me what happened before I found you. I'm so sorry. I should have been there." Misha sounded so hurt, but you pushed him away from you, making him raise a concerned eyebrow.

"Stop blaming yourselves!" You shout, glaring between Misha and Vicki's confused faces.

"But (Y/N), if we'd been there we could have-" Misha started, before you cut him off,

"No. What happened, happened. It wasn't your fault, it wasn't Vicki's fault and it wasn't my fault. It was onlythat _man's_ fault." You shudder at the memory, before adding quietly, "What happened, happened and I most of all need to start accepting that." You looked away, taking a deep breath.

"(Y/N)," Vicki started hesitantly, "I don't know if you want to hear this but it's in the newspaper." 

"What?!" 

"I mean it doesn't mention your name or anything, obviously." She hastened to add, "But, look:" Vicki fished a newspaper out of her bag, handing it to you. A subheading on the front page read:

**RAPE IN BELLINGHAM?**

_MAN TURNS IN_ _UNCONSCIOUS RAPIST AFTER SAVING YOUNG WOMAN IN ALLEYWAY._

_(See page 12 for story.)_

You felt your stomach flip, throwing the newspaper on the couch. You didn't want to read somebody else's account of your nightmare. 

"It was caught on CCTV, but they couldn't identify you because it was dark." Vicki said hesitantly. "They want you to go to the police - give your story." You nod, silently. For whatever reason, you're suddenly craving banana bread. You walk into the kitchen and start rummaging through the food. 

"Do we have any banana bread?" You said, chirpily. 

"Umm," Misha starts, "No? Why would we have banana bread?" he sounded confused, but happy you aren't breaking down. You frowned deeply. 

"Oh." You sighed. "Can we go  _get_ some banana bread?" 

"...Okay?" Misha said, unsure. So the three of you drove to the grocery store, Misha and Vicki trailing behind you, while you're darting through the isles, on a mission. When you finally got to where the banana bread should be, you saw a small sign:  _ **Out of Stock.**_ Your frown again, before looking around thoughtfully. 

 "Maybe I could  _make_ banana bread." You said, mostly to yourself before disappearing down a different isle, leaving Vicki and Misha looking bewildered and concerned. 

When you get home, you set the ingredients on the counter and start looking through cookery books. Your phone's smashed and Misha's laptop is out of charge, so you're doing it the old fashioned way. The smell of the cookery book comforts you; reminding you of your grandparents' house when you were three, too small to help in any way, but old enough to understand the _magic_ of what they're doing. It reminds you of the taste of their cookies and their muffins and their... Banana bread.  _That's_ why your craving it. You stop frantically searching the book and sigh. You sink to the floor and rest your head against a cupboard, eyes closed. You like memories - you can walk between them, stopping to remember the one's you forgot and stepping around the ones you don't want to relive. So you sit there, remembering. Not just the good memories - the sweet ones that taste nice - but the ones that shaped you; that bettered you. You sit there, uncomprehending of the concerned faces peering at you, exchanging glances. You sat there  _remembering._ It was peaceful and it was one thing you'd always relied on - yourself. No one else could tell you how you were feeling so you had to delve in and find out yourself, even if it tore at your heart; which it did. It was a sort of meditation, a sort of which you hadn't done since before David died, on the lonely nights you wanted to talk; so you did, to yourself. 

After a while you opened your eyes. The electric kitchen lights were bright and hurt your eyes. You stood up - noticing Misha had fallen asleep on the couch. You assumed Vicki had made it to the bed. You walked over and picked up the dead-weight on the couch. It wasn't easy but you made it to the bedroom, staggering most of the way and almost,  _almost_ hitting Misha's head on several doorframes. But you made it to the bed and set him down gently, next to his wife. They looked so tired, almost lifeless, lying there in the moonlight. You went back to the kitchen and picked up a pen and paper. About an hour later, you signed the paper and shut the front door behind you. You had a backpack and a coat, but you felt the cool, early morning breeze blow your hair across your face as you walked towards the centre of town. You signed into the hotel you'd left many months ago and slept; fitfully, and alone, but it was a start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger, but I probably won't update for a few days because of school and Sherlock finale (eek). Anyway, enjoy!  
> -B


	12. Still Craving Banana Bread

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misha reads your letter.

Misha woke up first and you were the only thought on his mind. He noticed you weren't in bed and assumed you'd fallen asleep on the couch. He hoped you weren't still awake. He had wanted to bring you through to the bed when you were on the floor but Vicki convinced him that you were just figuring stuff out; on your own. Misha made his way to the kitchen, putting on the kettle for a cup of tea, before making his way to the living room. His eyebrows tented - you weren't there. 

"(Y/N)?" He called out, a hint of panic in his voice.

"(Y/N)!?" Louder this time. Frantically he started looking through the rooms in the house, pausing only when Vicki rested a hand on his shoulder. His shouting had woken her. Misha's scared, blue eyes searched his wife's before she looked down at her hands, in which she was holding a piece of paper. She held it up, hand trembling slightly. 

**_To Misha and Vicki_ **

She unfolded the paper, holding it so they could both read. 

_Dearest Misha and Vicki,_

_I never did make the banana bread. I didn't want it; not really, I just thought I did. I thought a lot of things, before last night. I should tell you that I'm okay, that you needn't worry; but I'm not. I'm not okay and I doubt I will be anytime soon. But the second part is true - you must not worry._ **_I am not your_ ** **_responsibility._ ** _I don't want to be your responsibility because I know what that feels like; to have the burden of an unstable life fall through your fingertips. I take care of myself, it's what I do. I do want to thank you for all you've done, but I see the impact I'm having on both of your lives, a force of destruction and uncertainty and I know what that does to a person. So please forgive me for leaving. I'll see you again, but I do not know how long it will take to repair myself. I love you both and I am sorry._

_-(Y/N)_

Vicki folded the letter over and held Misha's hand. They both cried. 

 

Meanwhile, a few miles away, you woke up, feeling sick. After a few minutes you had to run to the toilet and throw up. You were shaking slightly and your face was pale, but you were in a better place than you had been last night _._ You got some breakfast and found yourself wanting banana bread again. You assumed it was just a comfort food, so you ignored the craving and made your way downtown to the grocery store. Once you had what you needed you went to get yourself a new phone. Next, you went online to find the number of a local psychiatrist; you were taking steps in the right direction. They booked you in for that afternoon and while you were calling them you caught a glimpse of yourself in a shop window. You  _knew_ you were doing the right thing, but you felt so broken and useless. You shook the thoughts off and returned your attention to the phone call, thanking them, hanging up and going to waste a few hours; making sure to stay away from Misha and Vicki's house. The thought made you cringe with guilt and uncertainty, you still had no idea if you were doing the right thing, but then again; who ever does?

 

"You must be Miss (Y/L/N)." The psychiatrist has a friendly voice. She has short, bleach-white hair, and glasses. You wonder if he just wears them to look professional.

"That's me." 

"Well my name's Dr Thompson, but you can call me Ella. Now, why don't we start at the beginning; what do you want out of this?."

"Wow, loaded question, umm..." You don't know where to start.

"Take your time (Y/N). This stage of the process is important." Ella shot you an encouraging smile.

"Well, I suppose I'd like to stop hurting the people around me with my own shit- sorry." 

"No, no, say what you want in here; it's a safe space." 

"Well I'd also like to learn to deal with my own problems instead of bottling them up until I burst." Your voice is a little shaky, but you're surprising yourself with how well you're holding up so far.

"Okay. That's a good start, obviously this isn't a place where I can just fix all of your problems, but hopefully I  _can_ help you to deal with your own problems. Let's get started." Ella's easy to talk to and you tell her your whole story; from when you met David, to meeting MIsha, to today. 

 


	13. Odd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You feel like something isn't right.

Back at the hotel, you finish setting up your new phone - syncing it with your old one. What you hadn't anticipated was that it would automatically set your wallpaper as what it used to be; you and Misha, in bed with sexed up hair and pulling funny faces. Instead of feeling guilty like you'd thought, you realised that you felt... Horny? That was unexpected, obviously you were still very much attracted to the man, but why this? Why now? This confusion didn't occur to you until after you'd touched yourself to thoughts of him, and were out of your post-orgasm haze. You brushed them off and told yourself it was just all the chemical minefield inside your body from the events of the last few days. You slept more peacefully than you had, that night you were comforted by thoughts of (admittedly, sometimes naked) Misha.

Over the next few days you went about your business, the psychiatrist had given you some helpful advice and you'd started meditating. You barely broke down once a day by the end of the week. It was a Friday, the day of your next appointment with Ella. The sky was cloudy and it looked like it was going to rain, but you gave the sky the benefit of the doubt and left your coat at the hotel. Ella was helpful, like before and after telling her about your week and how you were feeling, she gave you some notes and a pamphlet. You were standing up to leave when she stopped you, a hesitant look on her face. 

"Look, (Y/N), I'm no medical professional, but I think you should go to a Doctor." You gave her a quizzical look, before the colour drained from your face and you sat heavily back on the chair.

"No" You whispered at Ella, she just shrugged, looking at you sympathetically. 

 

Later in the day, on the other side of town, Misha was trying not to doze off on the couch. He'd given Vicki a lift to the airport today - much to her protest - and was feeling drained, even though it was only around 8PM. He looked out the window, pulling a blanket over himself as he watched the heavens pouring down. There was the occasional roll of thunder in the distance and the air was heavy but cold. Misha's eyes were beginning to close when he was startled awake by a knock at the door. He groaned and willed them to go away. For a wile he thought they had, but five minutes later there was another knock. He pulled the blanket off, sighing as he stood up. His face was annoyed at best as he threw the door open. When he did so, his face changed from annoyance through surprise to concern. Your small, shivering frame was sitting on the front doorstep. Your teary (E/C) eyes staring up at him. 

"(Y/N)," Misha said, pulling you inside, out of the storm. 

"Are... Are you alright? What are you doing here?" Misha didn't want to become hopeful that you were just back because you missed him. You were still standing by the door, leaving a wet patch where your clothes dripped rainwater onto the carpet. You take a deep breath. 

"I'm sorry to show up here," You can't look at his concerned face. "I'm pregnant Misha." You look into his crystalline blue eyes, wide with surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna focus more on Misha and Reader in the next few chapters and really just have Vicki in the background, just because that is what this story initially started out as and I think I got a little off track?? So yeah, more Misha coming up :)  
> -B


	14. Happy Tears *

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Misha enjoy breakfast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter starts off right after the last, just to tell you. Enjoy!  
> -B

"Are you sure?" Misha's pacing back and forth in front of the fireplace. You nod, staring at your hands fidgeting in your lap. 

"I've seen a doctor, they're sure." Your voice is quiet and small and Misha barely hears you. He stops pacing and stands to face you.

"How far along are you?" There's fear in his voice. 

"About six weeks." Misha nods, doing the math in his head. He looks at the floor, before saying guiltily.

"Is... Is it mine?" Your gaze shoots up to his face.

"Misha." He finally looks at you. "Misha," You say more gently. "Yes it's yours, of course it's yours. How many guys did you think I was sleeping with?" 

"I'm sorry, I just... I had to be sure." He's avoiding your gaze again. His face looks so tired. Suddenly he sits down next to you, taking your hands in his. His caring blue eyes are soothing.

"How are you doing?" Misha smiles kindly, but he still looks apprehensive. He rubs small circles into your palms. You shake your head slightly,

"I'm... Holding up." You sigh, relaxing into the couch, suddenly you feel drained - it's probably the pregnancy. "I'm tired." Your eyes are drooping. 

"Do... Do you want me to drive you to your hotel?" Misha's eyes dart between your own, waiting nervously for your response. You shake your head. 

"No." You feel your eyes close and you snuggle into the couch cushions. Before you drift off completely you feel Misha lay a blanket over you and rearrange the you so you aren't stiff in the morning, before placing a sweet, chaste kiss to your forehead. Misha falls asleep in the armchair across from you. He sits there watching you for a time, scared you're going to leave again. He thought about calling Vicki, but she'll be asleep by now and besides, Misha wants to take this at your pace, not rushing things. 

 

You wake up to the smell of eggs. You blearily open your eyes and stretch, before wandering through to the kitchen. Misha's making French Toast and it smells delicious. You walk up to him, wanting to say good morning, but before you get there your body notices the blanket of smoke in the room. You run to the bathroom, only just making it to the toilet before retching. Misha appears at the door looking concerned and sympathetic. 

"Morning." You say from the floor. 

"Morning (Y/N). You okay?" 

"Mm. Peachy." You smile sarcastically and stand up, taking Misha's offered hand. 

You wait for breakfast on the patio, after finding out the baby didn't react well to any amount of smoke from Misha's slightly haphazard method of cooking breakfast. The sun had risen a few hours ago, but was still casting long, deep shadows across the surrounding houses. It was peaceful and you felt safe. Properly safe, for the first time since you left Misha's house. The door opens behind you and out comes Misha, carrying two plates, wafting the smoke from his face and coughing. 

"Did you burn the breakfast, Collins?" You ask, mock accusingly. 

"It's not  _burned,_ just... Mildly charred." He looks doubtfully at the plates before handing the less - burned one to you. You smile gratefully and take a bite.

"Mmmmph." You moan happily and Misha raises an eyebrow. 

"You like my cooking  _that_ much?"

"This, " You gesture enthusiastically at the toast, "Is the first thing that tastes good and doesn't make me fuckingnauseous." You finish before Misha and pick at the scraps on your plate, looking mournful. 

"(Y/N)." You look up at him with puppy-dog eyes. 

"Would you like me to make you some more French Toast?" He asks, hiding a smirk. You beam and hold out your empty plate.  
"Thaaaaank you Mish." He rolls his eyes and chuckles as he stands to go back to the kitchen. 

"You're lucky I love you." He says fondly before closing the door behind him. You freeze, tearing up. Misha had never said that before. The tears start spilling down your cheeks and you're sobbing violently, overwhelmed and loved. Ten minutes later Misha comes back out to find you crying in a ball. He almost drops the plate he's carrying before he bends down to you. 

"(Y/N)?! He sounds frantic. You move your face from behind your knees, beaming at him, tears wetting your cheeks. Misha smiles back at you, eyebrows knitted in confusion.

"Love you too, Mish." You whisper. A wave of understanding washes over his face and he takes your face in his hands, kissing you sweetly before wrapping you in his strong, comforting arms. After a few moments you say, sweetly:

"Mish?" Misha pulls back, concerned, before you look pointedly at the toast on the table. Misha stands, laughing before handing you your breakfast. When he sits back down across from you, he's staring adoringly at you. He's gonna have another kid, _your_ kid.A part of him is growing inside you and he gets to watch it grow up. Tears threaten to spill from his eyes. Happy tears.


	15. Vancouver

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misha has to go film Supernatural. You come too.

That day you and Misha talked, about the future, about the baby and about you. At one point in the conversation, Misha started to look apprehensive and thoughtful. 

"Mish? What's up?" You ask, taking his hand in yours. 

"It's just... I have to go film in Vancouver in a few days." He sighed. "But I can't leave you here all alone and Vicki's still in L.A for a few months." Misha started to ramble. "I just wish I didn't have to go, maybe I could call in sick-"  
"Mish. Stop. I'll be fine, and besides, how long will you be gone?" You say reassuringly. Misha looks away guiltily. 

"Five months - until Christmas." He mumbles. "Although we get a few weekend breaks and such." 

"Oh." You say, a little put out. Misha's face lights up,

"What... What if you came with me? I mean I know we live  _here,_ but I have an apartment I rent up in Vancouver and I could come home every night - to you." He looks childishly hopeful. 

"Misha, you know you're the only reason I stayed here for more than a week."

"So you'll come?" 

"Of course I'll come." Misha breaks into a grin and comes over to hug you, knocking you backward onto the couch, smothering you.

"Jeez, Mish! Careful of the baby!" You laugh, pushing him off of you. He pulls away, eyes wide and eyebrows raised. 

"The baby." He says softly before letting out a shaky laugh leaning down to your belly. He places his hands softly just above where the baby is - even though you aren't showing yet. He places a tender kiss there and rests his forehead against it. It was a loving gesture that made your eyes water and you wondered how you found such a brilliant man. You couldn't wait to tell Vicki. 

 _Hold on...Vicki. What was Vicki going to say? Her husband impregnated me - they already had two kids, who says they want more? Oh my god I'm just a homewrecker - Misha's just pretending to be happy for my sake._ You feel the familiar wave of panic wash over you. Your hands clench into fists and you can feel your pulse. Misha - of course - notices. 

"Babe? What's wrong?" He asks, moving to sit next to you.

"Misha," You whisper, "Do you want this?" Misha frowns.

"Want what?" 

" _This._ Me, the baby..." Your hands subconsciously move to your belly.

"Of _course_ I want this, I love you (Y/N). And of course I want this baby - I mean it was certainly a surprise, but after I got over the shock... I feel honoured to be the father to your child." 

"What about Vicki." You whisper so quietly Misha only just hears you. When he does, he frowns. 

"What  _about_ Vicki?" 

"You already have two kids,  _her_ kids. She wouldn't want more, and if  _she_ doesn't want more then you have to leave, to go back to your own kids." Your voice is quiet and shaky. Misha sits there, stunned for a moment before saying, sternly,

"(Y/N). I want this baby, and I  _know_ Vicki is going to want it, and love it too. You know why? Because she loves you; we both love you and we both will love any part of you, so please stop doubting yourself." 

"Okay. Sorry Misha." You whisper, eyes watering. Misha smiles sadly and kisses you, loving and desperate. One hand on your cheek and one protectively on your belly.

 

It's the morning of the day you leave for Vancouver. You're spread out, shirtless, tangled in the sheets with Misha's hand resting on your stomach. There are faint scars underneath it, reading;  _Your life is not your own, keep your hands off it._ You don't  _like_ those scars but you aren't ashamed of them - they helped you when you were helpless. You wonder what the baby-bump will do to them. An odd irony, you think, a new life distorting those words. You look over at Misha's sleeping face. He always looks so angelic when he's sleeping. You sigh - pregnancy makes your bladder hate you, but you want just a few more minutes here, in bed, with the man you love. It's gonna be a long day after all. 

 

The car journey was only supposed to take two hours, but the traffic was hellish, so three hours from leaving, you and Misha were sweaty, irritable and stuck on the motorway. The radio told you the traffic jam should clear up in about an hour, but you didn't hold up much hope; they'd been saying that for an hour and a half. Your pregnancy induced motion sickness didn't help - forcing Misha to pull over every so often for you to throw up. After another painful three hours, the two of you finally pulled up outside Misha's apartment. He grabbed both your's and his bags and started walking, tiredly to the front door. On his way there his phone buzzed and he managed to fish it out of his pocket - dropping one of the bags in the process. He read the message. 

"Fuck me." Misha groaned, dropping the rest of the bags next to the first one, and flopping down on top of one of them.

"I mean, I'm kinda tired just now Mish but-" Misha's glare cut of your attempt to cheer him up. "What's up?" You ask, sitting on another bag next to him. 

"The landlord sent me the wrong key and we can't pick up the new one 'till eight." Misha sighed and ran a hand through his hair. 

"That sucks. But we'll be okay right? We can survive!" You grin, enthusiastically and give a thumbs-up, before adding, "Hey babe, thanks for driving. I know you must be exhausted." You give his hand a gentle squeeze and smile lovingly. He smiles back, before looking thoughtful. 

"I  _might_ have some friends we could hang out with until we can get in here." He gestures at the building behind you, before jumping to his feet and offering you a hand up. 

"I'm not that useless Mish!  _Yet._ " You take his hand anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can probably guess, I'm gonna be introducing Jared, Jensen ect. In the next chapter or so, so enjoy!  
> -B


	16. Jared and Jensen *

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You meet Jared and Jensen.

Jared opens the apartment door to find a visibly exhausted Misha, you trailing behind. 

"Hey Misha," He says, letting Misha inside and flashing him a sympathetic smile.

"And (Y/N), it's great to finally meet you!" He grins, extending a hand for you to shake. You take it, smiling up at him genuinely - if a little tiredly.

"You too Jared." You walk past him and he shuts the door. You follow Misha through to the living room and see Jensen sitting on a couch. When he sees the two of you come in he gets up, coming over to hug Misha. 

"Hey man," Misha says, patting Jensen's back. 

"(Y/N), it's nice to meet you." He smiles at you. 

"And you." 

"So, want a beer Mish?" Jensen asks, Misha accepts, gratefully. 

"How 'bout you (Y/N)?" 

"No thanks Jensen." You move a hand to your belly without meaning to, and before you can remove it, Jared glances down, then back up at you, double-takes and stares, open mouthed at Misha. His mouth a questioning 'o'. Misha looks at you, for permission. You nod slightly. Misha groans and wipes a hand down his face, flopping onto the couch and accepting the beer from Jensen. 

"Aw man, Vicki's gonna be gutted when she finds out we told you guys before her." Misha grins at Jared, who seems to still be in shock.

"Told us what?" Jensen asks, confused.

"Told you that I'm pregnant." You say, taking a seat next to Misha. Now it's Jensen's turn to be shocked. He looks, wide eyed, between Misha, you and Jared before Jared gives him a 'really man?' look, and Jensen stops gawking. 

"Congrats guys." Jared sounds genuinely happy for you and it makes you blush. You've only just met him, but already he seems kind and accepting. 

"Thank you Jared," You say, patting your belly. "This actually makes you guys the first people we've told." 

"Well, don't I feel honoured." Jared sips his beer, before Misha says,

"To be fair, it  _was_ an accident that you figured it out Jared." Jared just rolls his eyes and laughs. 

"Yeah, congratulations guys." Jensen finally joins in the conversation, seeming marginally less happy than Jared. A moment passes, then,

"Is... Is Misha the dad?" Jensen looks between you and Misha guiltily and Jared raises his eyebrows, glaring at his friend. Misha just laughs, 

"Yes Jensen, I am the father." He looks at you, "Jensen isn't quite as... In tune, with the whole polyamory thing as some people." He takes a drink of beer and Jared and Jensen break into slightly awkward laughter. 

"So, do you guys live here together?" You ask, making conversation and moving away from the previous subject. 

"Um, yeah, well only when we're filming." Jared explains, "We both have wives back home." Both men flash their wedding rings in unison, making you giggle.

"Oh yeah? So where's home?" 

"Texas, born and bred." Jensen chimes in, with a full on Texan accent. You laugh, falling into pleasant conversation. 

 

By the time 7:30 rolls around, the four of you have ordered pizzas and you are winning at a game of poker. 

"Beginners' luck." Jensen shouts, frustrated, as he throws his deck down in defeat. Misha checks his watch,

"We should go babe, it's almost eight." You nod and he stands up, kissing you on his way to get his coat. 

"Hey uh, is Misha okay to drive?" Jared asks. He had drank quite a few beers in the last few hours and you were wondering the same thing.

"I dunno, he's a bit of a lightweight when it comes to beer." Jensen whispers loudly to you and Jared, even though there's no way Misha can hear him, making you laugh.

"Well if he's not I could drive y'all - if you want." Jared offers - he's only had one beer and Jensen was right, Misha _is_ a lightweight when it comes to beer. 

"Hey Mish?" You ask, as Misha comes back into the room.

"Yeah babe?" He asks, handing you your coat.

"D'you think you're okay to drive?" Misha brings his hand in front of his face, staring at it in concentration, swaying slightly while doing so. He drops his hand back to his side,

"No." He says, simply.

"I'll get my keys." Jared says, going through to another room. Misha stares at the seat Jared was sitting in, in confusion for a moment before realising.

"Oh, don't worry Jared, we can just get a cab." Misha's eyelids are starting to droop and he's leaning on you a little. Jared strides back into the room.

"Nonsense Mish,  you're clearly exhausted and I'm sure you and (Y/N) have stuff in your car that you need." You smile at him gratefully and Misha just grunts, his eyes half closed. 

"Come on babe." You say softly, leading Misha out the front door after Jared, Jensen following behind. 

Down at Misha's car you, Jared and Jensen unload the necessities from Misha's car to Jared's before getting in beside a sleeping Misha. Jensen says his goodbyes and Jared gets in the driver's seat. 

"So, where to?" He asks, looking at you through the rearview mirror.

"I... Have no idea actually." You frown, "We have to pick up the key from the landlord- hang on." You fish the sleeping man's phone out of his pocket. You know his passcode by now and Misha isn't exactly secretive with his phone. You find his texts from the landlord and rattle off an address to Jared. He frowns, 

"You sure? That's like, the other side of town." You shrug, apologetically,

"That's what it says here."

You set off and manage to get the key, even without Misha's conscious help. Luckily the landlord and him are friends, so after showing him the sleeping Misha in the back seat, it isn't too much trouble. It's about an hour later when you get to the apartment. Misha's still sleeping soundly and you're starting to flag too. You wake Misha enough to walk, pick up all your bags and thank Jared profusely for his help. You walk up to the front door with a drowsy Misha, fiddling with the keys in the lock. 

"Fuck." You say, under your breath. 

"Damn landlord's given us the wrong keys." You look over at Misha, who's snoring gently, leaning against the wall. You sigh, before remembering you never gave Misha his phone back. You pull it out of your pocket and find Jared's contact. You check the keys one more time before begrudgingly pressing the call button. He's probably half way home by now you think. He answers on the fourth ring. 

"Misha?" He asks,

"It's (Y/N)." You reply, "I hate to do this, but the landlord gave us the wrong fucking keys and Misha's asleep against the wall and my back hurts and-" 

"Shit. Don't worry (Y/N). Do you and Misha want to stay at me and Jensen's tonight and we can sort it out in the morning?" He asks, kindly. You sigh in relief.

"Jared, that would be fantastic." 

Five minutes later you see Jared's car pull up across the street. He gets out and you smile apologetically at him. He jogs over and picks Misha up - bridal style. 

"You got the bags?" He asks, blowing his hair out of his face. The sight is so hilarious you would normally burst out laughing, but you're so tired you only manage a half-smile. You nod, pick up the bags and follow Jared to his car. 

Another fifteen minutes later and you're all back at Jared and Jensen's apartment. When you get upstairs Jensen's on the couch, watching TV. He raises his eyebrows when Jared comes in carrying a sleeping Misha, with you in tow. Jared shrugs,

"You should check your texts man." Jensen picks up his phone before giving you a sympathetic look. 

"Y'all can have the spare room," Jared says, carrying Misha and motioning for you to follow. The room's pretty nice and has a stunning view of the city, which you - of course - are too tired to acknowledge right now. Jared sets Misha carefully down on the bed. 

"You can deal with him now." He says, motioning to him. 

"Thanks for everything Jared." You say, walking over to hug him. The height difference makes it a little difficult, but hey, it's the thought that counts. As Jared's closing the door you remember to ask, 

"Oh, Jared? Where's the bathroom?" 

"Two doors down on the right." You nod, 

"I'm so sorry if I wake you guys up in the morning." You pat your belly. 

"Oh, don't worry about it." Jared smiles before adding, "Goodnight." And closing the door softly behind him. You turn your attention to the inanimate lump on the bed, sighing before walking over and removing Misha's jeans and shirt, and pulling the covers over him. You hear a mumbled, 

"Thanks (Y/N)." Before you undress and slip under the covers beside him. You lay with your back against his chest and he wraps a lazy arm around your waist, making you feel warm and secure. You fall asleep in a matter of seconds after that.


	17. "Morning Jensen" *

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misha makes a faux pas and reveals something.

You wake up before Misha and check the time; 6AM. The blinds are open and the morning light illuminates Misha's sleeping form beautifully. He has his back to you, so you wrap and arm around his chest and start peppering small, wet kisses along his shoulders and on his neck. Misha groans happily.

"Morning Jensen." His voice is thick with sleep. You pull away, staring at Misha's back in confusion, he just rolls over towards you, eyes slightly open, smiling at you before falling back to sleep. You don't want to go back to sleep, even if you could. _Why did Misha call you Jensen?  Were he and Jensen sleeping together? Had Misha just had a wet dream about his friend? Did he have a crush on Jensen? What wasn't he telling you?_ The questions coursed through your mind as you got out of bed, careful not to wake Misha. He was undoubtedly still tired from yesterday, and you wanted a while to process your new information. Of course it might not be anything - just a slip of the tongue, but in the past you had got lost in the depths of the internet and stumbled upon some 'evidence'. The internet called it 'Cockles' and you'd always dismissed it as wishful thinking, but now? You were curious.

You wander through to the kitchen. Jared and Jensen must've still been asleep. You help yourself to some cereal and put the kettle on out of habit, even though you highly doubt Jared and Jensen would have the tea Misha liked. You rummage through the cupboards for a few minutes before finding a half used box of it; the exact brand you had at home. You brought the box to the kettle, frowning at it. 

"That stuff is gross. I do  _not_ recommend it." Jared laughs coming in and taking a seat at the table.

"Good morning Jared." You smile, "I did _not_ peg Jensen for a tea-drinker." 

"Oh no, he hates the stuff even more than me." You frown.

"Then who's it-"  
"We bought it for a friend, a while back." Jared smiles, but it looks forced. You dismiss the thought and smile, nodding. 

"You don't mind if I use some then?" You ask, "It's the only stuff Mish'll drink." Jared smiles and shakes his head, 

"Take the whole thing for all I care." He smiles, "Mi casa es su casa." You feel safe around Jared - like you can tell him anything. Or maybe that's just the pregnancy talking - either way, you hesitate before asking, 

"Hey Jared, can I ask you a question?" Jared sees the serious look on your face. 

"Sure, anything (Y/N)." 

"It's kinda... Personal." You start, "Well, personal to Misha - technically." Jared raises a quizzical eyebrow but says nothing so you carry on. "So, this morning, Misha sort of called me someone else, when I was kissing him. He was half asleep and I dunno if he'll even remember, but..." 

"Well who was it?" Jared asks, intrigued. You sigh, 

"That's the thing. He called me Jensen." Jared's eyes go wide before he forces them to return to normal. He looks away thoughtfully before saying, a little defeated, 

"I take it Misha hasn't told you." You look at him, incredulously,

"Told me what?"

"I should leave this alone, but you're pregnant with Misha's kid for fuck's sake - you have a right to know. Misha should have told you." Jared sounds a little angry. "A while ago - as in years - Misha and Jensen... Had a thing." Jared gestures, at a loss for words. "They weren't public about it - they didn't even tell me. They thought they were being so discreet," An amused smile plays on Jared's lips, before it saddens a little. "They were fucking, but that wasn't the extent of it. I don't know the  _full_ extent of it, but I know Jensen was pretty damn torn up about whatever it was when it ended. You see, me and Jensen used to live here permanently, Jensen's room - the room you slept in - turned into Jensen and Misha's room, when we were filming anyway. No one else knew, I don't think, except Vicki, I assume. Like I say, I really don't know what happened, but in the end it fell apart pretty roughly, more so on Jensen's part than Misha's I think." Jared sighs, shaking his head, "But you should really talk to Misha about it, this isn't my place." You nod, slowly, taking in what you just learned. 

"Thanks for telling me." You stand up to resume making tea. 

"You okay?" Jared asks, concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine... I just don't know why Misha wouldn't tell me about this." You stir the teabag around absently, "He gushed about that girl, what's-her-name, that him and Vicki fell for a while back." Jared shrugs. 

"The man's a mystery if you ask me." He says, walking through to his room to get changed.

You take the tea through to Misha. When you get there he's just waking up, in the middle of stretching. His face lights up when he sees you. 

"Morning (Y/N)." He smiles, accepting the tea, blowing on it to cool it.

"Good morning Misha." Misha's eyes flicker up to your face as he notices your odd tone. 

"Misha, tell me about Jensen." You lay down, arms folded beneath your head, staring at the ceiling, but catching Misha's look of surprised guilt. 

"What... What about Jensen?" Misha asks, cautiously. 

"Hmm, I'll start with - what does his cock feel like?" Misha stiffens and turns to you, eyes slightly glassy. 

"(Y/N)," He whispers. You sit up, looking at him with a concerned expression - you'd assumed him and Jensen just fucked, so why was he getting so emotional.

"Mish, baby, it's okay. I just want to know what happened and why you didn't tell me." You smile gently. Misha sighs shakily. 

"It was the one time I slipped up. Jensen was the  _one_ time I fucked up, completely. He and I fell in love, a love that was hard to distinguish from lust - at the time it was just fucking, the first time it happened was so unexpected, I hadn't had a chance to ask Vicki. It had happened before - one of us had got caught up in the moment and hadn't got the other's consent; making up for it for the next month." Misha laughs softly. "This time I was ecstatic to tell Vicki - I thought she'd be thrilled, I'd hooked up with a cute guy. What I hadn't expected was for her to completely flip and forbid me from doing anything with him again. It was understandable - she was pregnant with West at the time and wanted a while just to ourselves. The problem was that by that time I was already in love with Jensen, and him likewise. So we carried on - behind my wife's back." Misha frowns regretfully. "I even moved in with him for a while, for the time I was staying here in Vancouver. It seemed to work so well, until one night Vicki told me she was an hour away from my apartment; she'd come to surprise me." Misha laughs humorlessly. "I remember that night so well. I got her text with Jensen's mouth around my cock. I freaked out so much I almost hurt him. I grabbed my things and went back to my apartment - breaking things off the next day. That part fucking sucked." Misha sucked in a shaky breath, frowning. "I felt like I betrayed Vicki so much and I was so broken for a long time. I am so lucky Jensen was able to forgive me. We became friends again, but nowhere near where we were before... All that."

"And you never told Vicki." It wasn't a question. Misha shook his head, sadly. 

"And that's why I never told you either. It's my deepest secret and my greatest regret." He hesitates and corrects himself. "Not that I regret what I had with Jensen. Not for a second. But I regret betraying Vicki like that - she's always  _so_ open and honest, she's my rock (Y/N)." A tear falls down Misha's cheek. You hold him, comfortingly.

"I know Misha, I know." Internally you think,  _Misha you idiot, what did you do._


	18. Jensen's Misha *

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen's POV from Chapter Sixteen, when you tell them you're pregnant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, first off I hope you're all enjoying this story! And second, I know there isn't much actual past Cockles action (yet), but I do have a reason! After/during this fic I've decided to do a Prequel story to 'Washington' about Misha and Jensen's relationship, which could be read without reading this fic, but will tie in nicely. So look forward to that! Enjoy!  
> -B

***Jensen's POV***

Jared had offered Misha and (Y/N) to hang out with him and Jared until they could get into Misha's apartment. Jensen wasn't thrilled, but there was still that nervous exitement at the thought of seeing Misha again. It had been about eight months since the last convention and the two of their schedules hadn't coincided since then. There was a knock at the door, breaking Jensen from his thoughts. He wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans as Jared bounded past him to answer the door. In walked a tired looking Misha. Jensen stood up and hugged Misha, patting his back to keep it platonic. When he pulled away he saw (Y/N). Stunning (E/C) eyes and flowing (H/C) hair. Jensen told himself he wasn't jealous of what she had with Misha, although he didn't believe it. He smiled at her, a little forced and said,

"(Y/N), it's nice to meet you." He turns his attention back to Misha.

"So, want a beer Mish?" Jensen uses the nickname fondly. Not many people call him that. Misha accepts and Jensen remembers his manners.

"How 'bout you (Y/N)?" She declines the offer so Jensen goes to get Misha his beer from the kitchen, making sure to pick him the coldest one, knowing he likes them that way. When he came back through, Jared was sitting staring at Misha and (Y/N), mouth hanging open.  _Rude_. He thought. Misha takes the beer, sitting down. 

"Aw man, Vicki's gonna be gutted when she finds out we told you guys before her." Misha says, playfully before grinning at Jared. Jensen's confused.

"Told us what?" 

"Told you that I'm pregnant." (Y/N) chimes in. Jensen's heart stops. It felt like he had been drop-kicked in the chest. He looked in shock at Misha before he noticed Jared giving him a look. He forced his expression into something that could be considered normal.  _(Y/N)'s pregnant. With Misha's kid._ Jensen has never been good with jealousy, but this - this is another level. He remembers he's part of a conversation. 

"Yeah, congratulations guys." Jensen said, a little too deadpan to be genuine.  _Maybe... Maybe Misha isn't the dad._ A glimmer of hope sparks in Jensen.  _Only one way to find out._

"Is... Is Misha the dad?" Jensen studies their expressions, feeling a little sheepish for asking outright. Misha barked out a laugh, breaking the silence.

"Yes, Jensen, I am the father." He turns to look at (Y/N), "Jensen isn't quite as... In tune, with the whole polyamory thing as some people." Misha took a swig of beer, but Jensen caught the guilty glint in his eye he was trying to conceal. That stung. Jensen wasn't quite as 'in tune with the whole polyamory thing'? That was rich, coming from a man who cheated on his loving wife with him. Jensen covered his emotion with a laugh, it probably sounded awkward, but he didn't care. He just joins in the conversation, bottling up his feelings. As usual.

Jensen drank a lot that evening - more than the others realised. Misha might've realised if he wasn't smashed himself. The four of them played poker for a while and Jensen felt white hot jealousy bubble up when (Y/N) beat him, time after time. He threw his cards on the table, violently. 

"Beginner's luck." He said, venomously. He noticed that Misha could tell he was getting angry, even through how drunk they both were. 

"We should go  _babe,_ it's almost eight." Misha asks (Y/N). Jensen couldn't be sure if he'd imagined the inflection of the way Misha said 'babe', but he was fairly certain he hadn't. Jared had hardly had anything to drink, and his sober self asked,

"Hey uh, is Misha okay to drive?" Jensen knew he wasn't. He  _knew_ Misha, and although in his inebriated state he wouldn't mind (Y/N) getting into a car accident and leaving Misha, he didn't want Misha himself getting hurt. 

"I dunno, he's a bit of a lightweight when it comes to beer." Jensen whispered, jokingly, but he was thankful when Jared offered to drive them. 

About two hours later, Jensen's watching TV in the living room, wondering what's taking Jared so long. Just then the door opens and Jensen's about to say,

"Hey man, where'd you get to?" When the words get caught in his throat. Jared's carrying Misha in his arms and a wave of panic hits Jensen before he sees (Y/N) trailing behind, with some bags. He raises an eyebrow at Jared, and Jared shoots him a sympathetic look, knowing this was already hard on him.   
"You should check your texts man." Jensen grabs his phone out of his pocket: 1 New Message from: Jared

_Hey man, I know this sucks for you but Misha and (Y/N) can't get into their apartment and I offered them the spare room. I hope that's okay._

They three of them are in the spare room by the time Jensen's read the text, so he groans, wiping a hand over his face. Tomorrow is gonna be a tough morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And don't worry, Jensen won't hate reader forever and he'll become happy for... Reasons ;)


	19. Getting it out of his System *

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared brings up the fact that Jensen clearly still has feelings for Misha, they come up with a solution.

You had been lying in bed for the last hour, pondering what Misha had told you. He had gone to shower and have breakfast - you notice he didn't drink the tea you gave him. You sigh, on the one hand Misha should not have, under any circumstances betrayed Vicki like that, and he should come clean. On the other hand, all this happened a long time ago and you didn't want to mess up this wonderful balance. It wasn't really your business anyway - at that point you had never even met either of them and it seemed like far too big an issue for you to get involved in. There was also the fact that you loved Misha and sympathised - he had loved Jensen and once he realised what he was doing had stopped. 

 _Had._ You thought, suddenly worried. What if Misha  _still_ loved Jensen? Did it even make a difference if he wasn't going to act on it? You decided it did. You stand up and walk through to the kitchen. Misha wasn't there, but Jared was. 

"Hey Jared, where's Misha?" 

"He's in the living room with Jensen." Jared replies, through a mouthful of cereal. You raise your eyebrows at him. He frowns before realising. 

"Oh... It's fine though, I mean _Misha's_ not gonna do anything." He looks at you, "Right?" 

"Why'd you say  _Misha_ like that?" You ask sitting down and ignoring the question. 

"Like what? I just said it normally." Jared takes another spoonful of cereal, concealing his guilty expression. 

"Thou protesteth too much." You smirk, devilishly. "You don't think  _Misha'll_ do anything, but you're not so sure about Jensen." You state, waiting for his confirmation. Jared hesitates and then nods in defeat. 

"I mean there's definitely still  _something_ there for him. I'm just not sure what." He pauses, "I take it Misha told you everything?" You sigh and nod. "So... Why didn't he tell you before?" Jared asks curiously. You look up at him, sadness in your eyes. 

"Because he fucked up Jared, he fucked up big. He can't know I told you this okay?" Jared nods silently. "Vicki told him he couldn't see Jensen after the first time they  _hooked up_ or whatever, but he kept on seeing him. He basically cheated on her with him, until one night he panicked." You could see the gears turning in Jared's head as things started to add up.

"That explains a lot." He sighs. "But I had no idea. I had no idea Misha would  _do_ something like that." Jared looks at you with a pained expression, "Doesn't he  _love_ her?" 

"Of course he does - more than anything. But he loved Jensen too... At the time." You sound unsure about the last part and Jared catches on.

"You don't think... You don't think he still does?" There's fear in your eyes when you say.

"I don't know." The realisation hits both of you simultaneously. You share a look and stand up in unison to go to the living room. You exchange a glance before opening the door. On the couch you catch a glimpse of Misha and Jensen on the couch, faces millimetres away, before they jump apart, eyes wide and frantic. You cross your arms and raise an eyebrow.

"It's not what it looks like-" Jensen blurts out and Misha gives him an incredulous look. Jared shakes his head and walks back to his room, hands raised in defeat.

"This is not my problem. You guys can deal with it. I'll be in my room." You, Misha and Jensen are left in an audible silence. You sit on a chair across from the two men, who are currently looking like two fifth-graders who got caught doing something bad. Your face saddens.

"I thought you said this was _over_ Mish - I thought you ended it." You give him a heart-breakingly disappointed look.

"It is over (Y/N). Or - it was - Oh God I don't know." Misha puts his head in his hands and takes a deep breath.  

"If it's over, what the hell did I just walk in on? Some sort of friendship initiation ritual?" Your voice is slightly raised - you don't like being lied to. Misha looks up at you, surprised. You never get angry.

"(Y/N) please, let me explain. I don't know what this was, but it hasn't happened before. Okay?" You narrow your eyes at him.

"He's telling the truth." Jensen backs Misha up. "I know this looks bad. Hell if I was you I'd have already punched... Well, me." He laughs nervously, gauging your reaction. You soften a little.

"It isn't that... It isn't that I don't want you guys being together, I want whatever makes Misha happy. I just want the truth. And so does Vicki." You look pointedly at Misha who looks away guiltily. "I just  _need_ to know what exactly is going on here." You gesture between the two men, waiting for them to explain. 

"Well..." Misha starts, "I don't think  _we_ know what exactly is going on here." He looks at you, sorrowfully. 

"Okay. Well let's start off with Jensen. How do you feel about Misha?" You turn to face him. 

"Um..." Jensen looks a little like a deer in the headlights, but Misha encourages him to go on. "I used to love Misha. I know that much." He clears his throat. "And then he left and it was so  _sudden._ It felt like a whole part of my life was gone in the blink of an eye." He laughs, humorlessly. "I guess I want - I _need -_  closure, of some kind." You nod, turning to Misha. He's looking at Jensen with sad, guilt ridden eyes. 

"And you Misha?" He turns to face you. 

"I loved him too. A long time ago. I thought those feelings had passed - mostly - but today I just...  _Missed_ it. He's right, it all ended so suddenly, neither of us had a chance to deal with what was happening, so in a way it never really ended." You look at them thoughtfully. 

"What do you think Vicki would say now?" You ask. Both men exchange a look of surprise, this was not the reaction they'd expected. 

"Um," Misha begins, "I... I don't know - we have you now. Why'd you ask?" You tap your fingers on your leg, absently. 

"Well. It seems to me -and do correct me if I'm wrong- it seems to me that you guys both wan't closure, right? One final act to seal the time you had together. Say one, final, sexual act." Jensen's eyebrows raise dramatically and he looks over at Misha, who is looking thoughtfully back at you. Jensen casts confused glances between you and Misha, acting like you're both mad for considering this. 

"That... That could work actually." Misha smiles tightly and leans back on the couch. "Jen, thoughts?" 

"Uh..." Jensen still looked incredulous. "I... That might work?" He sounds unsure, but is coming to terms with the thought. 

"Okay." You smile, "Now we just need to get Vicki on board somehow." Misha sits up in an instant, eyes wide. 

"No." He whispers, and you raise your eyebrows judgmentally at him, his face turns conflicted. "I mean... I can't. Not everything - not now." He looks at you pleadingly. You nod, curtly. 

"We don't have to tell her everything." You pause, "Yet." Misha looks relieved. "I'm sure I can convince her to let you guys screw, although she might want me to supervise." You wink, standing up. You leave the room, sighing when you're out of their sight. You hoped to God this was a good decision. 

 

Misha and Jensen are left, shocked, on the couch. 

"Well then." Misha says. 

"Yeah." Jensen replies, simply, then adds, "Maybe I judged your girlfriend too harshly." Misha's head snaps round to look at Jensen, who's already wishing he hadn't said that. 

"What did you think of her before?" Misha asks suspiciously. 

"I uh... I didn't mean that." Jensen tries to avoid the question, failing miserably. Misha gives him a scathing look. Jensen sighs, defeated. "It was mostly jealousy, okay? Like I said before, I still had feelings for you and when she came waltzing in here, carrying your baby no less, my jealous streak kicked in." Jensen looked away sheepishly and Misha softened. 

"But you're good now?"  
"Mish." Jensen deadpans, "She's arranging us sleeping together - I think she's cool." Misha grins, 

"She is isn't she." His eyes look loving, before turning cold. "I just hope Vicki's okay with it."

"She will be Mish, she's awesome remember?" Jensen nudges Misha comfortingly.  _How'd I get this lucky?_ He asks himself, smiling like an idiot. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut next chapter - in case you hadn't guessed ;)  
> -B


	20. We're in the Clear *

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Misha tell Vicki you're pregnant. Then you, Misha and Jensen have a threesome. Pretty straightforward (Although not at all straight).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT. Also this chapter ended up being way longer than I intended, but I wanted to get to the smut so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
> Enjoy!  
> -B

Misha had driven the two of you to his Vancouver apartment that day, after finally getting the right key. The first room you came to was a spacious living room-kitchen, with floor length windows near the breakfast bar and around the room was a jungle of plants. There was a couch, two armchairs and a bean-bag in front of the TV. You look questioningly at Misha when you see this, it not seeming very 'him'. He just shrugs. The bedroom has an en-suite and more windows, showing a stunning view of the city. There's another bathroom and a small office, but you only catch a glimpse of them before Misha pulls you into his arms. You smile up at him and he kisses you sweetly. You kiss back and shift how you're standing - causing you to unintentionally grind against him ever so slightly. He gasps against your lips and when he kisses you again it's more passionate. He licks into your mouth, hands in your hair, and you groan needily against his mouth. It had been weeks since you'd had sex - since before you found out you were pregnant and your body was reminding you of this now. You pull away from the kiss and rest your head against his shoulder, sighing. Misha puts a hand under your chin, lifting it so you were looking at him, he gave you a questioning, if slightly desperate, smile.

"We should call Vicki." For some reason your brain had reminded you just then that you had a lot to discuss with Misha's wife - she didn't even know you were pregnant yet. You'd have felt guilty having sex with the man with so much to tell and ask his wife. Misha shrugs and nods.

"Okay. We could FaceTime her now, if she's around." You were surprised at how calm he was, considering you imagined the call would be pretty serious - especially on his part. You agreed and Misha set up FaceTime on his Macbook. You looks at you, cursor on the call button.

"Ready?"

"As I'll ever be." You give Misha a reassuring arm squeeze and he hits the call button. It rings for an agonisingly long time before Vicki's face pops up.  
"Hey Misha-" She stops, looking surprised. "(Y/N)!" You look at Misha in question,

"You didn't even tell her I'm back?" You ask incredulously.

"I told her you were talking to me again, that was the truth at the time." Misha sounds defensive.

"How are you doing (Y/N)?" Vicki asks, changing the subject.

"I'm good Vicki." You smile reassuringly. "We actually have quite a bit to tell you." You suddenly feel nervous.

"I'll say! You're living with Misha in Vancouver, by the look of it." Vicki tries to peer behind you and Misha, who laughs anxiously.

"Yeah, there's a bit more than that." He looks at you, you take a deep breath.

"Um, I'm pregnant." Vicki's eyes fly open and a hand covers her mouth.

"Seriously?" She asks, you can't tell her tone yet,

"Uh, yeah."

"That's amazing!" She moves her hand and reveals a grin. Her eyes tearing up a little. "Give me the details." She says and you relax, letting out a sigh of relief.

"Well, it's Misha's. As you may have guessed, and I'm about seven weeks along." Vicki looks around thoughtfully.

"I wonder if I was there when it happened." She thinks out loud. "You do want it right? -Sorry, you do want them?" You nod, smiling.

"Honestly I surprised myself, but yeah. I do." You whisper the last part. "I guess the thought of having kids with you and Misha made it sound less scary." Vicki smiles widely,

"I wish I could be there with you, have you told anyone else?" You share a guilty look with Misha,

"I uh, I told my sister..." This wasn't a lie - you'd called her earlier that day - she was overjoyed. "And we might have accidentally told Jared and Jensen." Vicki scowls,

"Before me?! I'm hurt." She crosses her arms sternly. You look worried before her and Misha burst out laughing simultaneously. You relax again. The three of you chat about West and Maison for a while before you bring up the other subject.

"There was actually something else we were gonna talk to you- well ask you about." You say, carefully. Misha tenses beside you, taking over.

"Um, Vick, do you remember, years ago, when I slept with Jensen?" Misha winces at his blunt phrasing.

"Yeah, vaguely. Why?" She says, nodding.

"Well, at the time you were kinda mad about it -sorry again, by the way- but there may have been some..." Misha chose his words carefully this time, "Some residual feelings after that. I talked about it with (Y/N) and she suggested an idea to sort things out." You let Misha put some of the blame on your shoulders, just in case this went wrong.

"I'm gonna cut to the chase Vicki, I suggested they fuck." You interrupt, bluntly. "I'll keep an eye on them if you want." You wink, you might as well go all in now. Vicki barks out a surprised laugh.

"Okay." She says, simply.

"Okay?" You and Misha say in unison.

"Okay." Vicki repeats, "I remember now, I regretted being to hard on you for months after that, but I couldn't bring myself to tell you. I have no idea why." She shrugs, "So sure, if it's what you want. And yes, (Y/N), you can join in." Misha huffs out a relieved breath, running a hand through his hair. You laugh,

"You see right through me Vicki."

 

That evening Misha sends a text to Jensen which went something along the lines of;

 _We're in the clear - come at your earliest convenience_.

It had made you laugh at the time. Now you were in the shower - shaving and exfoliating. The pregnancy and your month of celibacy had meant you were in need of some serious grooming. You wash your hair too, and come out of the bathroom in only a towel. Misha's on the couch on his phone - scrolling through Twitter, probably. He double takes when he sees you; you're not showing yet so you still have a body to die for. You smirk at his reaction and walk over, teasingly. He can't take his eyes off you, so you come right up to him and drop your towel.  
"Oops." You say innocently, biting your lip. You see Misha swallow, shifting his hips slightly. You turn your back to him and bend double to retrieve your towel. When you turn back Misha's gaze is predatory. You stop teasing and straddle him, abandoning the towel. You wiggle a little and feel his hard on through his sweatpants. His breath hitches. You inch down slowly to kiss him, just before your lips meet there's a knock at the door. Misha groans in frustration but you laugh, resting your forehead against his.  
"You should probably get that." You motion to your nakedness. He nods and you get off of him. He adjusts so his boner isn't too obvious and gets up to answer the door. You're wrapped in your towel again, on the couch. Misha opens the door, it's Jensen - he looks nervous but excited. Misha grabs his shirt and pulls him into a heated kiss, Jensen involuntarily groaning into it. They walk in a little, still connected at the lips, and Jensen kicks the door shut behind him. Jensen pulls impatiently at the hem of Misha's shirt and Misha get the hint, pulling it off over his head and re-joining their lips. You watch in horny-fascination. You'd never seen Misha with another man before - although you'd heard stories. Vicki claimed he was more gentle with guys than he was with women and you were eager to find out for yourself. The kiss broke apart for a moment, Jensen noticing your studious gaze for the first time. He coughs and rubs the back of his neck.  
"Oh, hey (Y/N). Didn't see ya there." Misha chuckles.  
"You don't mind do you Jen? She can be as involved or uninvolved as you want." Misha sounds gentle - maybe Vicki was telling the truth. Jensen raises an eyebrow.  
"I think I want her involved Mish." Misha grins, pulling Jensen back in for the kiss. You stand up and tentatively come over, leaving the towel on the couch. Jensen looks up, his eyes widen when he sees your naked body. You don't even feel shy - maybe it's because you're so turned on. You raise a hand to Jensen's cheek and lean in. His lips are soft and he's a good kisser. His tongue licks into your mouth and claims dominance. A hand cups your breast and it takes you a moment to realise it belongs to Misha. You break away and look over at him - his pupils are blown, his eyes dark, and he has a hand down his pants, moving slowly. You smirk and cup Misha through his pants, kissing his neck, leaving marks.  
"I'll be right back." You say, making your way to the bedroom. You had learned where Misha kept the condoms and lube. You retrieve them and walk back through to the men. When you get there you see Jensen on his knees, Misha's eyes closed blissfully and his swollen lips parted slightly. Jensen's mouth was wrapped around Misha's cock and he was bobbing up and down slowly, with hollowed cheeks. He knew what Misha liked then. You stared for a while, before realising you were touching yourself absent mindedly. You walk over and capture Misha's open mouth in a kiss. He melts into it, his hands finding your breasts again. They're massaging and gentle and incredibly sexy. After not too long Misha breaks away from the kiss and says suddenly,  
"Jen I'm gonna come," You don't doubt it - Misha's eyes were totally blown and lust filled. Jensen pulled off,  
"Think you can get it back up, old man?" His tone is teasing.  
"Oh God yes." Misha says before grabbing a handful of Jensen's hair and fucking into his mouth. Jensen gags at first, but relaxes into the rythym, hands on Misha's ass. Jensen's eyes look emerald in the light and he's looking up through his lashes at Misha, watching his every micro-expression, savouring it. Misha's grip on the other man's hair tightens and he groans, stilling his hips. He spills himself in Jensen's mouth and pulls out. Jensen stands up and walks to the bathroom. You raise an eyebrow at Misha, who chuckles, lazily in his post-coital haze.  
"The one thing he never liked - swallowing." You nod in understanding and pull Misha in for a soft kiss, groaning quietly when he grinds his soft member into your thigh. Misha's fingers trail down your stomach and he slides one teasingly along your folds. You buck your hips when he grazes your clit and he gets the hint - rubbing rough circles on it. Misha moves from your mouth and you whimper at the loss before moaning when he latches onto your neck, sucking small kisses and licking his way south. He stops at your right nipple, giving it a kittenish lick. The sensitive nub shoots pleasant jolts through your body and you shiver with anticipation. You hear a groan that isn't from Misha and you look over to find that Jensen has stripped completely and is jerking off to you and Misha. The thought turns you on and you get impatient. You push Misha off gently, and notice he's getting hard again. You'd left the lube and condoms in the bedroom so you take both men's hands and lead them through. They follow obediently. You decided to take control.  
"Which one of you is going to top?" You ask bluntly to the two men unashamedly jerking off before you. They exchange a glance and Jensen points at Misha. You nod in contemplation.  
"Okay, Misha - on the bed, on your back." Misha obeys. "Jensen, you're gonna ride him cowgirl style." Jensen nods and climbs onto the bed before correcting you.  
"It's cowboy actually." He flashes you a grin and hands Misha the lube. Misha spreads some on his fingers and swirls a digit around Jensen's waiting hole before pushing it tentatively in. He thrusts it in and out a few times before adding another, then another. Jensen's moaning and rocking back onto Misha's hand by the time he gets up on his knees. Misha slicks up his cock generously. His mouth is parted and he's breathing heavily. Jensen keeps eye contact with Misha as he lowers himself onto his cock. When he bottoms out they both gasp, before Jensen starts riding the other man. Misha's head falls back in bliss. After a few minutes he seems to remember you and looks over, beckoning you with a finger. You walk over, his voice is wrecked,  
"Let me eat you out (Y/N)." His voice is almost pleading, but you doubt he cares at this point. You climb onto the bed and straddle Misha's face. His tongue works miracles, circling your clit before his mouth latches on and he sucks. At the same time you feel two fingers enter you and start pumping in and out. You groan his name and you hear Jensen's pace increase. Misha's fingers curl inside you and you cry out in pleasure, you're grinding on his face at this point, hoping he can still breath. All conscious thought is replaced by pleasure. Misha adds a finger and quickens the pace, leaving you panting.  
"Misha, I'm gonna- Oh God -I'm gonna," Your walls clench around Misha's fingers and he groans, lapping up your juices. At the same time Jensen's hips stutter and he whimpers. He comes on Misha's chest, white and hot. You roll of Misha's face and watch in blissed-out wonder as Misha thrusts up into Jensen a few more times before crying out. His whole body seemed to judder, before he stills and Jensen pulls slowly and carefully off him. The three of you are panting but you recover first. You get up to get a cloth from the bathroom. You bring it through and clean Jensen's come off Misha, offering it to Jensen, who accepts and uses it to clean himself up. Misha's still basically unconscious and Jensen checks the time before reluctantly sitting up.  
"You're welcome to stay the night." You smile at him, welcoming. Jensen contemplates for a moment before shaking his head.  
"Thanks (Y/N), but this was just sex. A final act. I don't want to draw it out." You nod in understanding and help Jensen find his things. Before he leaves he goes through to the bedroom and kisses Misha's forehead sweetly. You say goodbye and go back to Misha. He sits up smiling languidly at you. You toss him a pair of underwear and get under the covers, him joining you. He pulls you close to him and nuzzles your hair.  
"Thanks for being okay with this (Y/N)." His voice is sleepy but genuine.  
"Are you kidding me Mish? That was fucking amazing." You give his arm a reassuring squeeze before snuggling into his chest. "G'night Mish."  
"Night (Y/N).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for any spelling/grammatical errors, It's really late and I don't have time to proof read right now, but want to get this chapter up :') There shouldn't be many though! Enjoy!  
> -B


	21. Shower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Misha take a shower, then Misha comforts you about parenthood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is kinda short, but I felt like reader and Misha needed some good ol' fashioned fluff. Enjoy!  
> -B

Misha wakes up wrapped around you. He smiles contentedly and kisses the top of your head. You open your eyes and sleepily blink up at him.

“Morning babe.” He says.

“Morning Misha.” You reply, rolling out of his arms. He whines in protest but you shake your head.

“I’ve gotta go shower, but you’re welcome to join me.” Misha raises an eyebrow before getting out of bed to follow you to the bathroom. You turn the water on and while you wait for it to heat up you feel Misha’s arms snake around your waist. He stripped off his boxers at some point, so now he’s naked, pressed up against your back. He kisses your neck fondly.

“Hmm,” You hum, leaning into him. “The water should be hot now.” After a few minutes you reluctantly pull away, and test the water before stepping in, extending a hand for Misha to join you. He takes it and steps in after you. There’s hardly any space in the small shower and you chuckle at the situation before you look at the sight in front of you - Misha’s beautiful body and adoring, cerulean eyes. You have to go on your tiptoes to reach his mouth and you place a loving kiss there. He reciprocates it and places one hand on your hip and another on your cheek. You wrap your arms around his waist; your bodies are flush and fit together like pieces of a jigsaw. The kiss is unhurried – it’s slow and sweet and _perfect._ Time seems to stop with you and Misha connected, water flowing down your bodies. Eventually he pulls away.

“I take it you did actually want to get clean in here.” He smirks down at you.

“Mm. I _did,_ but I think I like this better.” You kiss him quickly before pulling away and nodding. “But you’re right.” You pick up some shower gel, about to use it when Misha takes it from you. He opens it and squeezes some onto his palm.

“Turn around.” He says gently. You comply and feel his hands work their way along your shoulders and down your arms, before moving to your back. You let your head fall back, leaning on Misha’s shoulder. His hands move to your ass, there’s nothing sexual about it – just caring and gentle, treating you like a delicate piece of art. He washes your entire body and you turn to face him, taking more shower gel and smoothing your hands down his toned front. The shower lasts for almost an hour before the water starts to cool and you both get out, shivering. Misha wraps a fluffy towel around you and one around himself before you dry yourself and wander through to the bedroom.

By the time you both enter the living room; you’re fully clothed and warm. You make Misha a cup of tea and sit next to him on the couch, resting your feet on his lap. He’s looking out the window, deep in thought.

“Whatcha thinking about Mish?” He startles out of his trance.

“I’m gonna be a dad again (Y/N).” He grins and laughs in disbelief. You smile and take his hand comfortingly.

“Yeah at least you’ve done it before! This is all new and scary to me Mish, I have no idea what I’m doing and although it’s exciting and beautiful and wonderful, it’s gross and it’s painful and… It’s scaring the hell out of me.” You look away ashamed, and when you look back, Misha’s looking at you with understanding.

“I know. I know it’s one of the most terrifying things in my life and I’m not even _having_ the thing. But that’s okay because it’s all new and it’s unknown territory and it _is_ exciting and beautiful. And you’ve gotta know that I’m here for you, through all of it.” He takes your hand and kisses it affectionately, making his point. Your eyes water and you stroke his cheek.

“Thank you Mish.” You whisper. “I love you so much.” He beams,

“I love you too (Y/N).” He leans over to capture your lips in a kiss.


	22. Meeting the Cast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You meet some of the cast of Supernatural while out at a bar with Misha, you befriend them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is set kinda out of order? So Jensen's only just started dating Daneel and Jared's not married to Jen yet, but Mark has Isabella and Misha has West and Maison. Sorry if it's kinda confusing! Enjoy!  
> -B

“Hey (Y/N)?” Misha calls through from the kitchen, where he's unpacking the groceries. You’ve been living in Misha’s Vancouver apartment for almost a month now, and you like it.

“Yeah Mish?” You shout back.

“Some of the cast were gonna go to the bar tonight and they asked me to invite you. I know you can’t drink but I thought I’d ask anyway.”

“Sure, I’d love to.” You haven’t met much of the cast – only Jared and Jensen, but Misha had talked about them a lot since he started filming.

After you and Misha had dinner, you decided to get ready for your night out. You slipped on a pair of distressed jeans, a simple white top and a leather jacket. You didn’t want to wear anything too fancy in case no one else was, there was also the fact you were just starting to show, but weren’t sure who you should tell yet. You put your hair up, did your makeup and came back through to Misha. He was waiting for you by the door.

“Ready to go?” You asked, he nodded and offered you an arm to take. You accepted it and walked with him out of the apartment – you were looking forward to tonight.

You and Misha took a cab to the bar, seeing as Misha was planning on drinking. The bar was relatively high-end, with booths surrounding a central dance floor. It was busy when you got there, so you clung to Misha’s arm while he navigated through the crowd. He spotted who he was looking for sitting at a booth near the back, and made his way over. When the group saw Misha they all raised their arms and shouted;

“Mishaaa,” _I guess they’re already drunk then._ You think, chuckling. Misha sits down and you sit next to him, on the end of the booth. Next to Misha there’s a woman with red hair, she introduced herself first.

“You must be (Y/N)! I’m Ruth, it’s nice to meet you.” She has to shout a little over the music and the noise from the crowd, but you notice her Scottish accent. Next to her there’s a long, brown haired woman. Misha points at her,

“That’s Gen, Jared’s girlfriend.” She waves at you, smiling. Next to her was Jared.

“Hey (Y/N).”

“Hey Jared.” You smile at him, before Misha points to the man next to Jared.

“That’s Mark.” You introduce yourself,

“Lovely to meet you (Y/N).” You can tell he’s English and he looks friendly. Next to him is Jensen and at the end is another woman. Misha raises an eyebrow at Jensen.

“Hi, I’m Daneel.” She addresses both you and Misha, so you guess he’s never met her either.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Misha and this is (Y/N).” Misha shouts across to her. She giggles.

“I’ve heard.” Your eyes widen a little at what that could mean, but everyone’s chatting already so they don’t notice. Misha asks you what you want to drink and you go for lemonade. While he’s getting your drinks you notice Daneel watching you with a scrutinising glare. She laughs when she sees you notice.

“Sorry, it’s just… Are you pregnant?” Jensen’s head whips round from his, and Mark’s conversation. He looks at you wide eyed,

“That wasn’t… I didn’t!” He stutters, Daneel gasps,

“You are!” She grins happily before putting Jensen out of his misery. “He didn’t tell me, I just have a sort of talent for these things.” She blushes, shyly. You smile at her,

“Yeah, I’m about three months along.” You say. It turns out you don’t mind telling these people – they seem friendly.  You hear an excited gasp,

“You’re pregnant?” Gen asks, curiously. You nod before you notice Misha’s putting a drink in front of you and you budge up, letting him sit down.

“Is it a girl or a boy?” Ruth chimes in. Misha looks at you, surprised.

“You told them?”

“Well, we kind of guessed.” Daneel answers for you. You nod in agreement, shrugging slightly. You turn to Ruth,

“I don’t know yet, I should find out in about a month.”

“Ooh, what are you hoping for?” Gen asks,

“I honestly don’t mind. Whichever one cries less.” They laugh.

A few hours later you’ve made friends with them all and Gen and Daneel have even started planning you a baby shower for four months away. At one point Mark has to leave because he has “A beautiful little demon baby” at home and his wife’ll kill him if he isn’t home before midnight. The rest of the group’s pretty drunk by that point and it’s pretty hilarious to watch. Jared’s trying to hit on Gen, even though they’re already dating and Misha’s tearing up at Ruth telling a story about a TV show she was in once. He turns to face you, his eyes glassy; you suppress a smirk.

“Can you believe that (Y/N)? The dog just left.” His voice cracked at the last part and you had to bite your lip to stop yourself from laughing.

“It’s okay Mish, it’s just a story.” You try to calm him down and it seems to work, his face changing from sadness to adoration.

“I love you so much (Y/N).”

“Love you too.” You say, before Misha kisses you, softly. You can taste scotch on his breath, mingling with his own taste. It tasted like home.

It wasn’t until three in the morning that you and Misha said your goodbyes to what was left of the group; Jared, Jensen and Ruth. You called a cab and gave the driver your address. You had to take the keys from Misha because he was having so much trouble unlocking the front door, and once you were through he pushed you up against you, kissing you passionately, if a bit uncoordinatedly. You made it to the bedroom, Misha practically falling on top of you on the bed. He started kissing and biting your neck and you groaned, after a few minutes he started slowing down and stopped. You realised he had fallen asleep against your shoulder. His breaths were slow and even and you could smell his intoxicated breath from there. You sigh, rolling him heavily off of you before managing to get him under the covers – still fully clothed. His hair was ruffled and unruly and his lips were slightly parted; he looked angelic. You decide to take a photo on your phone to savour the moment before undressing and getting into bed, smiling at the sleeping man beside you, before grimacing at how hung-over he would be in the morning. You make a mental not to bring him some aspirin and water before he woke up, before drifting off to sleep.


	23. Baby Shower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gen and Daneel throw you a baby shower and Misha and Vicki have a surprise for you - set when reader's about 7 months pregnant.

There was an incessant buzzing sound coming from somewhere near your head. It wasn't what woke you up however - that was the heavily arm being flopped across your face.

"(Y/Nnnn)..." Misha groaned tiredly. You opened your eyes and realised your alarm was going off. For the past few days you've insisted - much to Misha's protest - to set an alarm to go off at random times during the night in preparation for the baby. You groaned and turned the alarm off, rolling over to go back to sleep.

"You're not getting up this time?" Misha asked, his voice muffled into the pillow. You groan a sleepy "No." and roll over with your back to him.

"Good." He smiled into the pillow and moved to spoon you. Before either of you are able to get comfortable you sigh dramatically. 

"What?" Misha asks half halfheartedly. 

"Gotta pee." You replied, rolling out of Misha's arms and shuffling off the bed. You made your way to the bathroom, stumbling slightly in the dark. By this time in the pregnancy your baby-bump protruded inconveniently from your body - meaning you couldn't see from your belly button to your thighs. This made going to the bathroom quite a struggle; aggravated by the fact you had to pee frequently throughout the night. You were starting to get fed up of being pregnant - but at the same time you were terrified of the actual birth. When you got back through to the bedroom there was a cool breeze blowing in through the open window. The weather was hot for this time of year so Misha had left the it open. You looked at the clock: 6:25AM; twilight. You walked through to the living room, drawing open the curtains in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows. The view of the city was stunning, and the windows faced East - giving a magnificent view of the sunrise. You shuffled back through to the bedroom to steal a blanket off the bed, draping it around yourself to walk back through and curl up on a beanbag facing out the window. It was incredibly serene and peaceful to watch the city begin to wake up, along with the sun creeping out from the horizon. You were still sleepy, but this seemed worth it. Not long after the sun had risen you heard the padding of small, uncoordinated feet approaching you and you smiled, remembering that Maison and West were visiting. There wasn't a huge amount of space in the apartment - they had been sleeping on air mattresses in the office, which sounded uncomfortable to you - but they seemed to see it as an adventure. You must be getting old. Maison came over to you and sat on your lap heavily. You let out a breath of discomfort - there wasn't much room on your lap to begin with, never mind with a four year old on it. She looked up worriedly at you, afraid she'd hurt you, before placing a tentative kiss on your belly. 

"All better." She said with conviction. You smiled fondly down at her - kids made your hormones go crazy at the moment and having West and Maison around was proving challenging. You wrapped her in a secure hug and sat with her to watch the city, she sat quietly, sucking her thumb. 

 

Later that day you were just about to head to the store to buy ingredients for making cupcakes with West and Maison. Misha was currently playing with them in the bedroom, so you called through to let them know you were leaving. 

"That's me going Mish, I'll be back in half an hour." You shouted, before you hear a muffled thud and a slightly ruffled Misha came skidding through in a pair of your fluffy socks. 

"Um okay babe, but could you do me a favour?" He walked over to the kitchen, "I need this stuff mailed by today, do you mind stopping by the post office?" He handed you a pile of letters and you sigh inwardly; the lines at the post office were always hellish. 

"Sure." You said, taking the letters and picking up your purse. "See you soon babe." You shut the door behind you. 

 

You were right, and the trip to the post office added another hour onto your shopping trip. You stagger into the apartment, sweaty and dishevelled - carrying five shopping bags as well as your purse. 

"I'm back Mish." You shout, expecting him to still be in the bedroom, although everything's suspiciously quiet. You finally get the door closed behind you and look up,  dropping the groceries. The living room's a mess of colour, adorned by streamers, ribbons and balloons. Sitting in the middle are Vicki, Gen, Daneel, Ruth and Felicia. You'd met them all a few times since the bar and they're your closest friends. Hanging above them was a banner saying:

**Congratulations it's a G̶i̶r̶l̶!̶ _Person!!_**

You giggle at the banner and walk over to them - leaving the groceries scattered by the door. 

"Oh my God guys!" You say, grinning, "You didn't have to do this!" 

"'Course we did (Y/N), you deserve it." Gen says, standing up to hug you. 

There was hilarious baby-themed party games, stories and Vicki even made 'Baby-Cupcakes', but the decorating went a bit wrong so they ended up looking a bit disfigured - they still tasted delicious though. Gen got you some adorable baby clothes, Daneel got you some toys, Ruth got you a baby-themed gift basket and Felicia made you some hand-knitted hats. 

"Thank you all so much," You say, getting slightly emotional. "I couldn't ask for better friends."

They all hug you before they leave, except Vicki who stays. 

"So where have you kidnapped Misha and the kids off to?" You ask, lightheartedly. 

"Oh them? They're handcuffed in the closet." Vicki says, seriously. You laugh, 

"No seriously." Vicki just smirks evilly. 

"You'll see." You raise a curious eyebrow before Vicki takes your hand and leads you out the door and downstairs. When you get outside you see that Misha's car is waiting outside.

"He managed to get off work a week early and we may have done a little-something back in Bellingham." Vicki says smiling. "Your carriage awaits m'lady." 

"What about my stuff?" You ask, getting in.

"Most of it's packed, Vicki's gonna get the rest just now, if that's okay." Misha says, seeming to appear from nowhere. "She'll drive these monsters down," He ruffles West's hair, "And I'll drive you." When Misha passes you to get into the driver's seat he whispers, "You have no idea how annoying they are on long car journeys." You laugh, buckling your seatbelt.

 

Two hours later, Misha's leading you, blindfolded through your house in Washington. You have a protective hand resting on your stomach and you're walking excruciatingly slowly. Finally Misha takes your blindfold off. You open your eyes, blinded for a second by light, before you see that the spare room has been transformed into a nursery. Your mouth hangs open in surprise and you turn to see Misha and Vicki smiling proudly behind you. 

"Did you guys do this?" You ask, even though no one else could have.

"Vicki did most of it, but one day last week I raced down here and helped out where I could." Misha chuckles, 

"Look around then!" Vicki says, taking the attention away from herself. You do, the room has quite a vintage theme, but has been brightened up with colourful, striped curtains and carpet. There's a bookshelf and armchair and a mahogany crib with intricate carvings on the headboard. You pause when you get to it, your fingers trailing over the detailing. The carving depicts birds flying towards a tree and it seems  _so_ familiar. You whip round,

"Is this  _my_ crib?" You ask, incredulously. Misha looks sheepish. 

"I might have contacted your dad a while back after you told them you were expecting..." He says, looking around nervously. Your eyes widen, 

"Misha! You did  _not_ have to do this!" You exclaim, before softening. "Thank you." You come up to him and kiss his cheek affectionately. 

"Thank you both,  _so_ much. For everything." Your eyes are welling up and Misha and Vicki envelope you in a warm hug. Misha kisses the top of your head. 

"It was our pleasure." Misha says softly. You hear the pitter-patter of feet running towards you. West and Maison come bounding in,

"Oooh is this gonna be baby's room?" West asks, looking around. 

"Yeah West it is." You say, bending down to his level. As you squat you feel the baby start to kick in protest. 

"Oof. Hey Westie, do you wanna feel the baby kicking?" You ask him, his eyes widen and he nods. You take his hand and guide it gently to your belly. When it touches West's hand he shies away, giggling. 

"I think they like you already West!" You say enthusiastically and West smiles widely, before running off with Maison. You watch them go, feeling your heart swell at the sight of the family you've been so welcomingly accepted into.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you might be able to tell this fic is kinda drawing to a close. I mean I've done almost everything I wanted to with it, and I'm not saying it'll be over completely (+there's still one or two chapters to go), but I'm not getting so inspired to write it anymore and I don't want do drag it out. Don't fret though! I do have more works on the back-burner (Like the Cockles Prequel I'm writing...) and as always requests are open. I just wanted to warn you guys that the next chapter may or may not be the finale. Anyway, enjoy!  
> -B


	24. Birth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You give birth to Misha's child.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if there's anything that's not entirely accurate - I tried to do my research, but I lack personal experience of any kind.

Misha got back to the hotel and plugged his phone in to charge; he’d been out drinking at Jared’s bachelor party and it had died. Jared had proposed to Gen a month ago and she hadn’t wanted to wait around to get married. It was in Vegas and Misha wasn’t going to go and leave his eight month pregnant girlfriend at home, but you’d insisted. He sat down and his phone screen lit up – it was 4AM. He froze;

**_8 Missed Calls and 17 Unread Texts from (Y/N)_ **

Misha’s hands were trembling as he unlocked his phone, listening to your voicemails.

_-Hey Mish, it’s me. I hope you’re having a good time; I just called to check up. Have fun!_

_-Hey, I don’t want you to worry, but something’s… Happening. It’s probably just false contractions, I’ll call back if not._

_-Don’t worry they calmed down. All good!  
-Mish, they’re back. I’ve called Daneel, but she’s not answering. I think I’ll call the Doctor. _

_-Um, I’m- I’m in labour Mish, call me._

_- **Mish?** This is scary, please check your phone. _

_-I’m going to the hospital now, I’ll keep you updated._

The last voicemail was from five minutes ago:

_I’m in hospital, they say it’ll be at least a few hours until the actual birth. I’m scared Mish._

Misha took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair, sobering up. _Okay,_ he thought, _okay, she’s in labour. Shit. What do I do? I’ll call Vicki._

“Misha?” Vicki’s tired voice answered the phone.

“Vick? It’s happening – the baby’s coming.”

“Shit, this early? Okay Misha, keep calm. Wait, you’re in Vegas aren’t you?”

“Yeah.” Misha answered, frustrated.

“Okay, well call (Y/N) and get on the first flight back home, okay?”

“Okay. There’s no way you can get there?”

“I wish I could, but there’s no one to look after the kids.” Vicki sounded disappointed. “Good luck honey, keep me up to date.”

Misha hung up the phone and immediately got online to find a flight to Washington. He found one leaving in an hour, so he called a cab and packed his things as best he could.

 

You were doing yoga when it started. At first it was just a twinge in your lower back – turning into a steady ache. This wasn’t really out of the ordinary in your pregnancy and you blamed it on the yoga, but when you felt your baby-bump and it was rock hard, you started to panic. You called Misha first, making sure not to worry him, after that the symptoms settled down, but you called Daneel just in case; she didn’t pick up. The back pain came back and you called Misha back, then straight after, you called the Doctor;

“That sounds like contractions, Miss (Y/L/N).” The receptionist sounded friendly but it did little to comfort you. “We advise you come in now, even if it turns out to be a false alarm, its better safe than sorry!” You picked up your purse and grabbed the bag you’d packed in preparation just a week ago.

The hospital brought back unpleasant memories, but luckily you were too preoccupied with your current state to take much notice. You were checked in and they made you wear a hospital gown; it looked ridiculous, hanging over your belly. The Doctor came in and checked a number of things, scribbling them down on a clipboard – none of it meant anything to you; you seemed to have gone very primal, only worrying about the signals your body was sending you – mostly pain.  The Doctor introduced himself as ‘Doctor McGrath’ and his face was serious as he wrote things down. When he looked up at you he forced a smile,

“Everything seems normal, we’re going to keep checking every hour from now on.” With that, he left the room, leaving you alone, scared and in pain. About half an hour later, there’s a knock at the door and in walked Daneel. Your face lit up,

“Daneel, thank God.”

“I’m so sorry I missed your call (Y/N), how are you doing?”

 

Misha was last to board the flight – almost missing it. He sat down heavily, exhausted in his seat. Next to him was an old lady who smiled sympathetically at him.

“Hard day?” She asked.

“You have no idea.” Misha huffed out a laugh, shaking his head in disbelief. “I’ve got a baby on the way.” The lady’s face lit up,

“Oooh, that’s wonderful.” She cooed, “Is it your first?” Misha shook his head, “No, my third. Her first though. God, she must be terrified, I wish I was there.” The lady smiled comfortingly,

“I’m sure she’ll be fine. I remember my first-“ Misha tuned out after that – too caught up in worried thoughts about you.

Three hours later Misha was running through the doors of the hospital, getting slightly annoyed stars by the staff. He reached the reception desk and panted,

“I’m looking for (Y/N) (Y/L/N). She’s in labour, or she was, oh God I don’t know.” Misha stopped for breath while the receptionist typed something into her computer,

“And you are?”

“The father – her boyfriend.” Misha was regaining his breath, but he was still frantic. She nodded, and shot him a look that made his stomach turn.

“I’m sorry, she’s in the theatre right now; you can’t see her.” Misha’s heart sank,

“What? Why? What’s wrong?” He was shouting and his voice was shaky.

“Sir, please keep your voice down. I’m sorry but I can’t tell you anything.” Misha was ready to start an argument in the middle of a hospital, but before he could, a gentle arm landed on his arm.

“Daneel? Where’s (Y/N)? What’s happening?” He asked, eyes pleading and terrified.

 

The contractions were getting worse. By this time you were grabbing the handrail and crying out with each one. A nurse came through and asked Daneel, politely, to leave. 

“Miss (Y/N), Dr McGrath’s coming through now, your cervix is fully dilated; you’re going to have to _really_  start pushing.” She smiled encouragingly and came over to attach some sort of machine to your stomach.

“This is going to monitor the baby.” You smiled in reply, looking dishevelled and sweaty. An hour later, Dr McGrath’s by your vagina, hands smoothing over the baby’s head, the midwife’s hand in grasped in your vice-like grip, and you’re switching between a yell and a whimper.

“Where’s Misha?” You ask, letting your head fall back to the pillow.   
“He’s coming, just keep pushing.” The midwife says, comfortingly. You decide to give it your all, one last time and sit up from your pillow, a scream ripping from you as you feel the baby move, slightly. The Doctor sits up, suddenly and looks over to a tray of instruments.

“This is taking too long; we’re going to have to perform an episiotomy.” You nod and he picks up a scalpel.

“Okay, one, two, three, push!” He says and you do, weakly, but it works, and you feel a release. The Doctor stands, small, pink, fleshy being in his arms and asks the midwife for help. He cuts the umbilical cord and hands the baby to the midwife, before returning his attention to you, looking concerned. You don’t pay attention to that though; your eyes are on the screaming bundle of towels in the midwife’s arms. You breathe a sigh of relief and whisper,

"S'beautiful." before you hear,

“Call a crash cart!” Dark spots appear across your vision, before you black out completely.

 

Misha had his head in his hands, bent over in an uncomfortable chair in the waiting room. Daneel had gone home to Jensen.

“Is there a Mr (Y/L/N) here?” A voice called into the waiting room. Misha sat up abruptly. He was the only one waiting,

“I’m (Y/N)(Y/L/N)’s partner, is she okay? What’s happening?”  Misha asked, his eyes wide and scared.  

“She’s stable. She had to have an episiotomy, but unknown to us she has haemophilia – meaning she wouldn’t stop bleeding. She lost a lot of blood and had to have surgery to stitch her up, but like I said, she’s stable now.” The man smiled and turned to leave, but was stopped by Misha’s shaky voice.

“What about the baby?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger! Enjoy,  
> -B


	25. Happily Ever After *

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Misha have your baby, sweetness ensues.

Dr McGrath turned back to Misha;

“Your baby’s fine. Congratulations Mr (Y/L/N)” Misha didn’t correct him, instead, let out a sigh of relief and fell back onto his chair.

“When can I see (Y/N)?” He asked, with worry etched on his face.

“Surgery will be done in ten minutes; she should wake up an hour or so after.” Misha nodded and sat back in his chair.

 

Everything was dark. You couldn’t move, you couldn’t feel, you couldn’t see but you _could_ smell. It smelled like disinfectant and chemicals.

“(Y/N)?” A hushed voice asked to your left. You tried to respond, but instead you let out a sort of strangled sound. You panicked - your breathing quickening. You tried to speak again, this time managing a more human sounding noise.

“That’s it (Y/N); can you open your eyes?” The voice asked. Your eyelids felt awkward and weighed down, but after a few minutes of struggling, you opened your eyes, staring into the bleached light above. You gasped for breath at the feeling of being awake.

“Well done (Y/N). You’ve been on a pretty heavy-duty sedative; it’ll take a few hours for it to clear up completely. Just take it slow.” It was a woman’s voice, you can tell that now; forming more conscious thoughts.

“Where’s Misha?” You croaked, your unused voice straining at the few words.

“He’s outside; would you like to see him?” You nodded – as enthusiastically as you could in your current state. “I’ll get him.” A moment later you felt a familiar presence beside you.

“Misha?” You whispered, straining your muscles to look.

“Hey (Y/N).” Misha’s voice was familiar and comforting in this cold and scary place. After what felt like minutes of trying to move, your head fell a few inches to the left. You saw Misha’s face – concerned and tired.

“I’m scared Mish.” You whispered, making Misha’s expression grow even more worried.

“I know, (Y/N), but it’s okay now. You’re gonna be alright.” Misha smiled sadly, taking your cold hand in his warm one. You closed your eyes and fell into a fitful sleep.

 

When you woke up again there was sunlight flowing through the windows into the room and the sun was just above the horizon. You could move this time, and you sat up, noticing how strange that felt. Next to your bed there was a comfy-looking armchair, in which was an exhausted looking Misha. He was asleep but he was sitting at an uncomfortable angle.

“Mish?” You called, softly.

“Miiisha.” He stirred, opening his eyes slowly. You smiled at him when he looked up at you, with a worried expression.

“(Y/N), you’re awake – how do you feel?” Misha’s voice was slightly groggy from sleep.

“I’m okay Mish, just tired, but _you_ look exhausted.” You patted the space next to you on the bed, shifting over to make room. “Come on.” Misha looked apprehensive, but after a little encouragement he lay next to you on the bed. You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him into a desperate embrace. Misha’s arms enveloped you and you buried your face into his shoulder.

“God I’ve missed you.” You said, breathing in his scent – which was refreshing after the unfamiliarity of the hospital.  
“You too.” Misha sounded like he was on the verge of tears. You fell asleep wrapped around each other, listening to the steady pulse of your heartbeat.

 

Misha walks into your hospital room, a bundle of white in his arms and a look of pure love and amazement on his face as he looks at his precious cargo. He comes to your bed and ever so carefully lowers the bundle into your arms, not letting go until he’s _sure_ you’ve got it. You look down at a tiny pink face, with a tiny pink nose, tiny pink lips and Misha’s startling blue eyes. They look up at you, peering in wonder at the newness around her. You see your tears fall on the blanket, without registering that you’re crying.

“Hi.” You say, barely making a noise. When you shift, lying backwards slightly, the blanket shifts – revealing an impossibly small hand. You move subconsciously to touch it, the fingers automatically curling round yours when you do. “Welcome to the world.” You whisper. She makes a hushed noise at that, before breaking into a wild, wondrous, impossibly hopeful smile. You look up at Misha, at a loss for words. Your thoughts reflect on his face – loving, overwhelmed and in complete and utter awe, eyes fixed on the tiny, uncomprehending new life bundled in your protective arms.

 

You were sitting in bed, new-born in your arms when Misha rushed in; blanket over one shoulder, towel over the other – hair dishevelled and apron untied. He was carrying a shopping bag in one hand and a bottle of water in the other.

“Did you really go to the store like that?” You ask, laughing. Misha shrugs and hands you the water.

“We were in desperate need of diapers.”

“True.” You frown, before being broken out of your thoughts by the needy cry from the blankets in your arms. “Okay, okay baby.” You said, before pulling aside your robe, giving her room to suckle from you. You wince slightly, not yet used to the feeling. Misha sat down heavily on the edge of the bed – watching intently at you feeding your child. You reached for his hand, squeezing it gently and lovingly, before dropping it in favour of the water Misha brought you. You were supposed to walk as little was possible – which meant Misha being your beck and call all day, every day. He didn’t seem to mind though, he’d go to the ends of the universe for the two of you – you could see it in the way he looked at you and the way he held his daughter.

“You sure you’re ready for visitors?” Misha asked and you put the cap on the water, nodding.

“I’m sure. Anyway I’m sure West and Maison’ll be careful – if they don’t run away straight away. You chuckle, “And I don’t think Vicki’s gonna be an issue.”

 

A few hours later, you heard a commotion downstairs and assumed the rest of the family had arrived. This was confirmed when you heard two pairs of small feel running up the stairs.

“(Y/N)!” West and Maison shouted in unison as they ran into your room.

“Hey guys!” You said as they climbed onto the bed – West stopping when he saw what you were holding protectively in your arms.

“Would you like to say hello?” You asked, Maison staying back while West crawled tentatively towards you, peering into the blankets.

“Hello,” He said, and your daughter reached out a chubby, eager hand to him. West carefully took the hand in his, holding it shyly. She giggled and West broke into a grin.

“Hey little sister.” He said happily, before jumping off the bed and running back into the house – Maison in tow. Vicki appeared in the doorway, knocking politely before coming in.

“Hey Vicki.” You said quietly.

“Hey,” She replied, gazing in awe at the baby in your arms; you weren’t sure who she was actually talking to. Misha came in after her, smiling widely.

“Do you want to hold her?” You asked Vicki, her eyes being torn away from the bundle in your arms and widening in surprise. She nodded cautiously and you slowly dethatched yourself from the baby, ever so carefully handing her to the other woman. Vicki took her, holding her as if she were a delicate ornament. After a few minutes of cooing at each other, Vicki spoke.

“Have you thought of any names yet?” You looked at Misha,

“We were thinking of Alex for the first name, and middle name Rebecca –after my mother.” Misha said, fondly. Vicki nodded thoughtfully.

“Alex. I like it.”

“Then it’s decided.” You said, “Welcome to the world, baby Alex.”

 

Alex had woken you early in the morning, before the rest of the household was awake. You carried her downstairs and out onto the patio, rocking her back and forth and softly singing a long-forgotten melody. There was a cool breeze as you looked up at the moon and the stars and the blackness of space and felt so small, but so important with the responsibility of being a mother. Alex had stopped crying and was looking up at you, through Misha’s eyes. You didn’t know if you’d get used to that – the startling resemblance, but in a way it was comforting and you felt so _proud_ that this was something you and Misha had created together. A hand snaked around your waist, and you leaned into Misha’s warm body, shapes fitting together perfectly.

“Sorry if I woke you.” You said, softly.

“You didn’t; it was Alex.” Misha said, tired but uncomplaining. He kissed your cheek and gently took the baby out of your arms, holding her lovingly. He swayed with her in the moonlight, humming soft and low. He looked so tired, right there, holding your daughter and yet _so_ at peace; and so, you could imagine, did you.

 

** Afterword:**

** Isn’t it odd that this whole story lead up to baby Alex? Right from the very beginning when Reader sat on a bench next to Misha, it would always lead here, or even before that, when Reader’s ex-boyfriend died; it came together in the chubby, pink face and blue eyes of Alex ** **. I find that odd, and kinda cool. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this story, please leave opinions down below – I’d love the feedback, and remember, if you’re interested in Cockles, that is coming up! But for now, this is the end of Reader and Misha’s story. **

** (Except I do have a teeny-tiny idea for a sort of epilogue thing which may or may not happen sometime in the future… Let me know if you’d like that (It has something to do with when the kids are older, specifically West, hint, hint.) Enjoy, goodbye! **

** -B **

****


End file.
